Thunder, (READ)
There are suicides everyday. I understand that things are tough on everybody, and not all paths align the same. To me, and this is advice I give to my children, and my friends. It takes more courage to move forward. It is more of a challenge to take steps to make things better, to mold your world the way you want it, than to quit. Quitters never win. Winners, never quit. Make a goal everyday. Start with the attainable, and gradually challenge yourself in difficulty. Don't get too down on yourself when you fail, accept that failure is part of everyone's journey. Failure is an opportunity to learn, and succeed next time.
I don't know why you pointed to a suicide in my hometown, but feels like your are reaching out. Reach within, be your own best friend, and soon, you'll find you have more friends than you ever dreamed of.
I've heard you complain of weight issues. Make a decision to fix that. Get a fitbit, or some sort of step tracker, and some earbuds music (I like Spotify), and start walking everyday. Start with 7000 steps, and within 2-3 weeks, be at 10,000. Within 45 days work to 15,000. By 90 days be at 20,000. The lbs will fall off. Drink water. I've done these things and they served me well. I found I was at peace, and could think more clearly than I had in years. 1 hour a day, can make the other 23 worthwhile. And when I say take steps, I'm not talking about add all your steps in the day to get that number. I mean go out and walk for 45 minutes. Make that time yours and yours alone. No distractions. Then the rest of your steps during the day, are gravy. (Side note, mmmm gravy) When you get your metabolism going hard, you can eat whatever you want. And still lose weight.
Here's another goal. Be cool to people. Resist your impulse to insult, and instead challenge yourself to be nice. Swallow that anger, and turn it into a positive. This too will go a long way towards peace. (inner and outer peace)
These are things that work for me. Try them or don't. It's up to you to be the change. I wish you well. Give it a try. It works.