widowmaker

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name. "Stanley," responds the little boy. "And what is your question, Stanley?" "I have 4 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?" Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when ½ of all Americans don't have health insurance?" Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right, Question time. Who has a question?" Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name. "Johnnie" he responds. "And what is your question, Johnnie?" "Actually Sir, I have 6 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don't have health insurance? Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And Sixth, what happened to Stanley ?"

there is nothing wrong in my books on it.if they want to be sitting targets then they can just deal with it. keep on keeping on. i think it is funny. gonna have to come in and see if you can catch me. hell it's all part of the game.

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He says “Yes, just caffeine.” “Have you ever been in the service?” the interviewer asks. “Yes,” he says, “I was in Iraq for two years.” The interviewer says “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment here.”, and then asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” The guy says, “Yes… an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles clean off.” The interviewer tells the guy “O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8am to 4pm. You can start tomorrow at 10am, and plan on starting at 10am every day. Don’t worry,we’ll still pay you from 8am.” The guy is puzzled and says, “If the hours are from 8am to 4pm, why don’t you want me to be here before 10am?” “‘This is a government job,” the interviewer says, “For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.”

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says,"Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with theanswers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work afew hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

that is cool. it is always fun to watch things like this.

welcome back to the family.

thx for the birthday wishes.

hey it worked

“I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’ So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. ‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. ‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked. I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her. She fainted.”

One day, a man was complaining to his friend about how much his elbow ached and that he was thinking of seeing a doctor. His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the local shopping centre that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00!” The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing and, after a brief pause, popped out a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labour. It will be better in two weeks……. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. So, he decided to give it a try – He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. Then, he went back to the store and located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its lights and printed out the following analysis: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant ……. twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better!

cspears is having computer issues lightening come in and fried our modem and the cable splitters after it was fixed her computer would come on and work it just wont connect to the internet it will try to connect to wireless but she has it hooked up with a ethernet cord and it will not connect we have tried to set up a new connection with no luck does anyone have any suggestions on what it could be the cable company told her it could be her LAN card but if that was the case would her wireless still try to connect.

this is tyde. she is 1 1/2 yrs old. 7th gen 2 time champion blood line razors edge. nothing but a big baby.

that was just what i needed today. thx for the laughs.

congrats

welcome and congrats

congrats

hell yeah the live ones are. lol dummy ones are also. you should the faces and looks i get when i go the the surplus stores and ask if they have any. priceless.

only if you come and pick it up. lol

thx

my glock 27 had it dipped in horror skulls over neon green. glock 23 had it dipped in digital camo. and this is my yugo sks with a grenade launcher and fold stock that i been working on and if you know the sks you know where the launcher is. on the end of the barrel.

welcome aboard

welcome spin. congrats on the tags. wear with pride.

i'm in