JohnnyDos

Here is a rundown of the calls: A man went into his garage and noticed that his gun locker had been pried open and several long guns were missing. After calling police, the victim noticed a man walking away from his house – wearing the victim’s coat, police said. The caller hopped in his car and drove towards the man, who flagged him down to ask for a ride. Police arrived, arrested the man, and recovered the firearms and the coat. A caller advised police that a stranger came to his door at 1 a.m. The stranger explained he was out for a walk, and asked if he could use the man’s microwave to heat up the food he was carrying. A man who has had several dealings with police attended the Chatham-Kent courthouse. Like all members of the public, he was searched prior to entry. Inside his backpack were cheques reportedly stolen during a recent commercial break and enter. The man advised he was “carrying them for a friend,” police said. Police were called to a gas station regarding a man who had pumped gas, but reportedly didn’t have any money to pay. The man waited with the store clerk until police arrived, “which was odd considering the man was driving a stolen vehicle from London,” police said. “Perhaps the man wanted to ensure the vehicle was returned to the owner with a full tank.” A suspicious man was seen going door to door on a residential street, trying door handles at 2:30 a.m. At one particular house, however, he was startled when the homeowner opened the door. He was seeking a can opener, police said, but he forgot the can. After pulling into a snow-filled driveway of a rural home, a man reportedly tried to break into the house. He wasn’t counting on a resident being home, police said. The man fled back to his vehicle, which his accomplice had gotten stuck in the snow. The pair were able to free the car, but not before the homeowner obtained the plate. They were located a short distance away and arrested. When officers arrested an intoxicated woman in Wallaceburg, she reportedly “flung herself onto the front of the cruiser, opened her mouth and dragged her teeth across the hood of the car.” She clamped down so hard, she was able to scrape the paint and clear coat completely off, police said. She was charged with mischief. Police were called about a suspicious person who was loitering outside a business in Chatham, asking passersby for cigarettes. The person was wearing a dark coat and scarf across their face. When asked to identify themselves, a high-pitched voice provided a female’s name, police said. The person had “stuffed their coat to appear to have womanly curves,” police said. However when the scarf was removed, the apparent woman had a thick bushy moustache. The man was known to use aliases, police added, but this was the first female name he had tried. A man wandered into a church, walked to the piano, sat down and started playing a jazzy rendition of ‘Happy Birthday.’ He was asked to leave. Officers found him in the back of the church and after a scuffle were able to cuff him, police said. He was charged with disturbing a religious service. A business owner arrived at work and found a naked man wandering around inside. Officers attended and after viewing the surveillance video, “the eventful night was revealed,” police said. Reportedly, the man was initially clothed when he entered an insecure door and waited patiently in front of the ‘wait to be seated sign’ for 20 minutes. When he received no service, the man went to the bar and appeared to be engaged in a “lengthy and animated conversation with a bartender (who was not there) and ate appetizers from a non-existent plate,” police added. The man was later seen doing an interpretive chicken dance during which he eventually stripped naked, which is the state he was in when the business owner and police arrived. “There was nothing stolen, but a great party was had by one,” police said. An officer walking through the police headquarters parking lot found a man he was familiar with barbecuing chicken and ham on the employees’ barbecue at 8 a.m. “When confronted, he summarily fired the officers who advised him to take his food elsewhere,” police said.

YOU PICKED HIM ?

But that vagina has teeth.Definition of a surprise.

The whole immediate family on 12/25/2018:

I don't know if you did Icequeen,but my wife has,she actually said two 1. "done already" and 2. "aren't you done yet"

Hey never mind 12/20 is OK,just like mine.

Happy Birthday Frenchi.?

Thanks for adding NumNutz.

What do you mean young kids,this 67 year old man loved it,I moved the globe around typed in my city and a lot of interesting history of the city was mentioned,it was stuff I knew but it was interesting.Thanks Angelz. ?

Been there Black Cat,all better now cats are both RIP,and 3 grand kids all grown up and my boxer could care less about the tree, but tries to tear the presents apart,she probably smells her presents with a few treats wrapped up.

You qualify Hunter,cause you're 3 years older than me.

You would have to been born in the 50's to understand this joke.

Now this is Christmas Music !!!

I remember that LaBob,but I gave that up since being retired for the last 15 & 1/2 years.Thanks for putting my name on that truck. LOL

Thanks Harry,but I still haven't made it to your age.But I,m hoping to get there just another 5 years to go,I hope.???

Oh Beers ,you know me too well and that is what exactly I will do,and you forgot I will drink a bunch of beer today also.

Crack you're a liar,cause I know you will smoke one for me and probably 10 for you.So I will smoke one for you and 10 for me.

That will be a for sure and more than one.

I was born in the early 50's and I see a lot of violence in those cartoons,but no parents that I knew ever said anything about the cartoon violence and that we shouldn't watch them like today,what the hell happened?I mean you can tell it is only a cartoon.Even Mickey Mouse would get into fights and bad behavior.BTW old popeye cartoons were the best.Here is the 1st episode.

You have to listen to this shit.No pun intended.