Lady has mastered them well lmao
Housecleaning Hints -- Windows: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide ahelpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it anSPF factor of 15 and leave it alone. -- Cobwebs: Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from thebulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points outthat the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim"What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them and callthem holiday decorations.) -- Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against thedoorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffinghand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps outcold drafts in winter.) -- Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightlyinto one room and close the door. As you show your guests through yourtidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'dlove you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and theshots are SO expensive." -- Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showyurn on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wantedus to scatter her ashes." -- General Cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented householdcleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the airlightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop anexhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, I clean and Iclean and I still don't get anywhere." As a last resort, light theoven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven andexplain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for afavorite charity and haven't had time to clean... Works every time. -- Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck: Always keep severalget-well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you cansay you've been sick and unable to clean.