Joe - in all honesty I feel sorry for you and your weenie wiener problems and public bathrooms - maybe you spend too much time there?? - you seem to to be seriously hung up - not hung - with the simple task of taking a piss - just whip it out and let er rip - I'm sure @@hxtr would be wiling to help you with that - or maybe try Viagra - it would make it bigger so maybe you could find it without having to use a flashlight , tweezers, and a magnifying glass. Next time you're out moose watching - just watch how they do it - not the female kind you're always chasing after but a male one.
One final note - Happy Birthday Pete!!! Bite me Joe