Halfamind Posted January 20, 2011 Member ID: 190 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 1 Topic Count: 23 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 76 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 1 Achievement Points: 614 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/03/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Never Birthday: 07/04/1966 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Thought you would enjoy these – I certainly did... The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and the scary thing is that they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant) Q. What is a turbine?A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bushape Posted January 20, 2011 Member ID: 839 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 18 Topic Count: 83 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1334 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 64 Achievement Points: 7776 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/05/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: August 12, 2020 Birthday: 07/17/1958 Share Posted January 20, 2011 WTF. It is a bad as Jay Leno when he asks people questions out in the street. It truly is amazing how ignorant our children are these days. My grandson doesn't even have to take PE in school, and if they do they don't have to take showers. This stupidity issue is a common problem and it shouldn't be just addressed as the students fault for being that way. Someone a long the line is supposed to be teaching these kids. I am not talking about all teachers but there are lot of them that are over paid and just take up space. Most teachers are probably pretty damn good, and it is not just the teachers it is like we lowered our standards for what kids have to learn before they graduate. Near Seattle a few years ago the teachers were on strike until the middle of Oct.. They wanted more benefits and money. The kindergarten teachers were getting over $60,000 per year with full benefits and they wanted more. The teachers union is a powerful union and the teachers got what they were after. I don't know what the teachers that taught higher grades were getting. But they are being way over paid. If you are a coach or whatever then you get more money, I can't beleive that some high school teachers make over $100,000 per year. And still get 3 months off. Go figure. If they get paid that much then they should be able to make rocket scientists out of half of the students. Oh I forgot you have learn to tie your shoes first. It just hits a nerve with me. It was never like this when I was in school. Thanks for the post. Sorry about the rambling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
007andahalf Posted January 20, 2011 Member ID: 1142 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 12 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 96 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 24 Achievement Points: 747 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/15/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 7 Birthday: 11/21/1964 Device: Windows Share Posted January 20, 2011 brilliant, very funny halfamind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Dark Asylumn Posted January 20, 2011 Member ID: 809 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 41 Topic Count: 251 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2835 Content Per Day: 0.54 Reputation: 1016 Achievement Points: 20374 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/29/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 06/25/1979 Device: Windows Share Posted January 20, 2011 Bushape WTF. It is a bad as Jay Leno when he asks people questions out in the street. It truly is amazing how ignorant our children are these days. My grandson doesn't even have to take PE in school, and if they do they don't have to take showers. This stupidity issue is a common problem and it shouldn't be just addressed as the students fault for being that way. Someone a long the line is supposed to be teaching these kids. I am not talking about all teachers but there are lot of them that are over paid and just take up space. Most teachers are probably pretty damn good, and it is not just the teachers it is like we lowered our standards for what kids have to learn before they graduate. Near Seattle a few years ago the teachers were on strike until the middle of Oct.. They wanted more benefits and money. The kindergarten teachers were getting over $60,000 per year with full benefits and they wanted more. The teachers union is a powerful union and the teachers got what they were after. I don't know what the teachers that taught higher grades were getting. But they are being way over paid. If you are a coach or whatever then you get more money, I can't beleive that some high school teachers make over $100,000 per year. And still get 3 months off. Go figure. If they get paid that much then they should be able to make rocket scientists out of half of the students. Oh I forgot you have learn to tie your shoes first. It just hits a nerve with me. It was never like this when I was in school. Thanks for the post. Sorry about the rambling. it just depends on the area this area the pay is horrible my mom and aunt taught school as well as a few other family members they are lucky to break 40k a year and that after many years of service. Most places the teachers ar way under paid. shit if teachers around here were making that they would be in heaven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 20, 2011 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 266 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18153 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20181 Achievement Points: 133040 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 264 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 20, 2011 Sound like good answers to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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