Halfamind

Ok Steve you found your whay here now get that fat French Canadian ass back to work, there is still stuff to be done and you are taking to long to get it done, and you better bring me a double double and make it a large. So fun been his Boss and getting to shoot him, (over and over) also. Have fun on the sever cause it will be the only place you can tell me what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lima5 (aka Halfamind)

When i started playing cod i was Capt.Halfanass (cause I was the asstiant manager for so long at work, half manager half asstiant) but i kept getting asked to change my name as it offensive to some people so I just said screw this and changed it Capt.Halfamind than just to Halfamind cause that is all i have left after working at the same job for 25 years.

Thought you would enjoy these – I certainly did... The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and the scary thing is that they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant) Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

I hope they fix the CI issue some day I can play 2 maps then i get CI and I losse all of the pionts i got on that map.

I have a rule one beer / drink = 53 seat limo (the Bus) driving me home. Or if a bunch of us are out we flip to see gets to be the the chauffer for the night. If you are at my house and are drinking you get to stay the night cause the drunk driving laws in BC are tough 1 beer gets you a 24hr or more suspension

Well once you had Yellow you will always be mellow. That been said I like my to be asians

what you mean the nfl is all just a running gaming

what you mean the nfl is all just a running gaming

do not worry I cant kill for shit but they still love me cause I make them look good

Any time I get a day off and can spend it wih the wufe and kids

I will stick with the way the world turns at work for now. It is just as fun as a game these days

Well My Mom beats everyones. She was not my biologiacl Mother (Dad ahd an affair, you know a salior has a women in every port) and when Dad brought me home she ( and my 4 sisters ) took me in like I was hers (theirs). She taught me my morals and scrpules what is right and wrong and everthing else. She was alawys there when I was hurt or sad. She is the one who gave me the engaement ring (it was hers) to give to my wife only 2 days after she had meet her. She never missed any of her grandkids birthdays, she would fly to where ever they where to be with them on that day. She was there with me when my kids where born. She was just the BEST women and Mother in the world. LOVE YOU MOM MISS YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a accident and was in critical condition and in ICU. The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant. Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!" "I hope you're proud of yourself!" "While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU!" "It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care and you will be her care giver! She will need IV's; you will have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours; she will have to be spoon fed 3 times a day and don't forget the hygiene care." The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed... The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just screwing with with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

What the HELL Woman have eyes. I have never noticed that before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes it does Dirk but unlike you it will keep going with out a rest

yeah once you have had yellow you will always be mellow. I should know I married an asian women

I will be on the sniper sever tonight around 9 west coast time

yeah I had fun with that mod

What do mean him it said it was a she. she needs to go and stop eating at Macdonlads and may be get its ass of the couch and do about 3,00,000 miles of running to start lokking like something of a female (if that could happen).

and 2 hammsters and the power will be there

ok that is just fuked up but funny

are you guys talking about Hockey cause that is the only real sport in the world

BOOBIES make the hard ons go around

I always Wanted a Taser Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol &Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dip shit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative? THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!! P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! 'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.

Well I have worked at Expo 86 than I started working at the Vancouver Convention Center in 1987 and have not left. Started as a general labour than be came a forkilft driver than a crew leader (the guy who runs the crew) doing all of the room set-ups. After 10 years I was made the asst. manager and now I am the Manager of the Department.