BigPapaDean

Well the real reason was it weren't tea at all it was piss and that was the reason the fly was there so she knew when it didn't smell dif that it was the same cup!

Anyone who has played with me knows I love to play this game. I just play it a different way. Now I am a fairly good player when I decide to have a strategy where I sneak around and get in strategic locations on anygiven map, but I just do not get much enjoyment out of shooting anyone when they walk by. I try it every once in a while just to see if maybe I found what I don't have, fun playing that style. I like to be the crazy raging idiot on the map they everyone else has to account for, or they just may loose their family jewels. I have been accused of being a hack, and after a friendly reminder to the accuser, that they should look at my kill to death ratio, they decided they had reacted in haste. I have been knifed myself by beginners and yes it is a little embarrassing but it happens to the best of players. In my mind the style I choose is probably the toughest of any, with the exception of the snipers, on the run and gun servers. I run head first into gun fire and many times die doing such, but then many times I get the knife kill. That's when I hear the term "bull shit". I just smile and sometimes I say, "Thank you!." Most of the time the pace of the game is so fast I don't have time to respond at all. I am just having fun. Now having said all that here is what I want you all to know and understand. There are those of us that play this game with severe handicaps. Most of the players with disabilities will never give you a clue as to their limitations but I know several players whom have as severe if not worse than mine. I can notn speak for them, but I know how tough it is for me to play the way I do and still play. I have carpul tunnel syndrome. Most days I do pretty good unless I over do, although there are days when I can hardly push the keys on the keyboard. I find it interesting when other plkayers getr a special thrill out of cutting me! They don't know that I am basically struggling just to play this game I love and to be with a community of friends I have made a lot of friends in. I here derogatory remarks made about another player all the time, that has some real obstacles to over come just as many others do, in this players case they play their style simply because they can not play the run and gun any other way. Now I must admit people, there was a time I was saying the same things, then one night he and I talked when no body else was on the server. He only told me just a little of his challenges but I have a special gift of empathy and i knew what the rest of the story was. Later he confirmed it to me. I since have a great respect for my friend. So people and friends just remember that not everything is as it seems. One more thing, I did not write this to look for any sympathy but just so you might understand the world, as well as the gaming world, has many various type of players and thank God because it it didn't and we all played the same way, it would be boring. The next time you see me running around like a mad man just say, "Thank God he fan at least run on this game."

pwrcrzy52 - Subject: Nymphomaniac Convention A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat ... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston " He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.." "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba." Classic! Love it!

A whole lotta slicing and dicing goin on round here Bro. And we need some of your arse to fill the pot for the arse stew we're brewing up here! So hurry and come on back now ya hear? lol

Everyday we get up from our beds and start getting ready to facwe the day ahead of us. As we pause and view the image in the mirror looking back at us we all have thopughts about the image we see whether they be good or bad! For one second try to imagine if God or whomever or whatever you belive in gave you the power to change anything about you you wanted with no consequences what would you do? Just take a minute and realize the image you see is the person you have become like it or not. The one major thing I would do is get rid of about 175 lbs and make myself a lot healthier in the process! Now I'd like to hear what each one of you are concerned with when you see yourself in the mirror!

If I was to ask you what your definition is about what a good player on COD4 here most would probably at first thought think about some of the players that win more often than others. I beleive there are far more critical thinking attributes that define what a good player to this game. Please tell the rest of us just what you consider a good player too be. Then I will post what I consider a good player to be!

Smurf! I am going to school with a young man from the netherlands and he speaks fondly of his native homeland. I have learned a lot about your homeland and have grown to have a much greater respect for her as I have much nore knowledge about her now, anyhow welcomr to the servers and most of all have fun!

Damit1 Any Idiot can run around with a knife....Heck I'm proof of that Damit! But..... have you ever tried a spork??? I've been told I should have a spoon But haven't heard the spork angle yet! HMMMMMMMMMM Intersting you cut their balls of then eat them in front of them LMAO!

Hey guys I am not wanting everyone to stp playing their games but to understand what we knifers do is DAMNED HARD! I have just been having a real bad time lately and just needed to relieve some built up steam! Thanks for listening!

I am a knifing idiot, by nature, and it comes with side effects that are not fun. I have noticed lately when I come into a COD4 Ace Mod game the at first everybody is playing and shooting from all over the map. That is the way it is suppose to be and always has. Then after I knife a few people playing the stark raving mad idiot that I am, it all changes. Everybody and I mean every body goes and sits their arsr down in a corner and sits there waiting to shoot anybody that even pokes their head in the area where their at. This is because as I was told last night they are afraid of me. I take that as a compliment, but it has now changed from being fun to me padding ntheir numbers, and that is not even remotely fair play. First of all the gunner has every advantage as all he or she has to do is simply pull the trigger as I have to run at them in tjhe face of gunfire and stab them. Now I know I am really fast and some people actually can't see me when I rush them and I can run around them 3-4 times and they just sit there shooting hoping to get me with some lucky shot. If I stop behind them they won't even know where I am and I can cut them so easy. Now having said all that, guys this game is about having fun and relaxing after a hard day at whatever you do. Whether it be work, school, or play, you need to let it go. As a knifer if I get cut and I do I really don't care, but give me a chance if your a gunner. You have all the advantages and I play this way because knifing is a LOST ART in this game we all love. I die more as a rule than about anybody on here because of my gaming style. I never win a game and further more I don't really care to. Now I am aware of some of the comments made in game some good and some not so good: such as watch your ass Dean's in here,and god dam f--king knifers. These comments don't really bother me but the latter one inspires me to get the person that says it. Now as a rule I usually key on the better players(what makes a good playeris another topic I will give me opinion on at another time) I want to see if I can actually get close enough to cut their arse. If I do their whole attitude changes and the eay they play does too. They as a general rule, but not all the time sit in some corner also, so I can not get to them again. I will tell you from now on if I get the feeling all i am doing is padding their stats I will stop playing and go do something else and play later. That is the effects what I a simple lone player who never wins a game has on the attitude of a game. Now that I've had my say I will go sit in my corner and shoot you when you walk into my area! LOL

Hey ya'll I just received word that a dear friend of mine who has a stepson in his late teens killed himself today. Her husband who is in remission from cancer for 6 yrs is needing surgery on a bad foot and is out of work, Please keep them in your hearts as they desparately need it> Thank you!

I need an navatar witjh my pix on it with my >XI< shirt on it! Who does that kind of thing around here anymore? lol

Guys! I just want to say Thank you! This is where I belong and now I have come back home!

Tooooooooooooo funny! You made me laugh with that one!

I had the opportunity to watch something tonight that made me feel all warm inside. I was waiting at the bus station waiting on my transfer bus to bring me the last leg home form college. As I was sitting there, a woman came by and asked each one of us if we had a dollar she could use to get home with. Everyone said nothey didn't have even one dollar. Well so did this guy sitting there who looked like he was down on his luck also. When she first asked him if he had a dollar he said no. Then as an after thought he looked in his wallet and I heard him say he didn't remember he had it. He also said to himself just ever so audibly that it was his last dollar in his bankroll and everywhere. He chased her down and made sure she had her ride home. When he came back he had a very contented smile and I felt really warm inside. My question is this, if you had the same opportunity and it happened to you and you had one one dollar bill, would you or would you not give it to her> I answer that I hope I would but I also know there would be times I wouldn't!

I tell you guys what! I am excited and can't hardly wait to put some extra eyeball sockets in some of yourn heads! This is gonna be fun! It is good to play with you tguys again!!! To all my friends at XI get ready for a head poppin funtime!

The following is a recount of my life the last 2 yrs. I am telling it in the hopes it helps others to know they are not alone! I tried to be fair to all parties involved. I told where I was where I went to, and where I am now and where I plan to go! Enjoy and Please give me feed back as I want to know if it helps somebody! Life Isn't Fair It Just Happens! Many times I have thought to myself, "Life is not fair, but it happens!" As I think about it now, that phrase is very aplicable to my life. Things don't always happen just because it's unfair, but because there usually are circumstances that lead up to the events, that may and in many cases, do effect the rest of our lives. I have decided that my life with all of the events that have occured is really not all that different from about half the people in this world I live in today! It's not the events themselves that make my life an unique story but the way and order they occured. Each event lead to the next event and just like an avalanche the impact grew larger and larger until it happened! As a fuse burns and when it finally reaches its destiny, the designed effect occurs. The explosion erupts into a major event that causes devastation to all within the boundaries of the effect. I was a young youth group minister with no certain homebase to call my home. I grew up as the son of a farmer, who himself was an elder and preacher in the church we had always gone to. I had aspirations of following in my fathers footsteps. There was just one major obstacle that stood before me. For me to follow in his footsteps, there was the need to have a wife that was like minded. I was in my middle twenties when I finally met the woman I was to spend 27 yrs with. We met at a national campout for our church in the mountains in Colorado. My hometown church sponsored it and I never missed them as there was always so much fun to be had as well as the meetings were so wonderful to us. Year after year I attended this campout looking for that special woman who would bless my life. It was at one of these campouts I finally met her. One day this sweet young woman walked up to me and asked me to baptize her into the Lord's fold. my life. This was the first event in our lives together. At the time though I was unaware as to the effect of that meeting on the rest of my life. Our roads while very much intertwined would go down much different paths. A year or two after we met, I had moved to Tulsa where I was just living like I had always lived. I was always a carefree happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I never thought much about responsibility, and obligations. I just lived for the moment. I grew up in the outdoors with a rifle in one hand and a fishing pole in the other. That was the only life I had ever known and I had no idea what it meant to be a husband or a father. I just thought they happened. Then she moved from Washington state to Tulsa also, where we became romantically involved. We dated a few months and fell in love and got married. Then after three children and approximately fifteen years later and our marriage was on the edge of falling apart, this is when my story really begins. I have changed the names to protect all envolved. This is not about right and wrong or blame . It is about how events do effect each and everyone of us in many different ways. To make sure I hold to my objective here I am as much at fault as anyone in this, but I truly do want to maintain fairness and truth as much as I possibly can. This is told strictly from my perspective and memory! Now back to my story! The following events are to let you know some back ground so you can have a perspective that is not from my view but from the cause and effect view. While Lanni and I were dating, she worked at a fast food drive in in a very suburbia part of town. One night she couldn't get a hold of me or anybody else to pick her up after work so she decided to walk home alone in the dark. She was brutally attacked and raped. This one event is what really had more impact on her life than any one sigle event in her life! It was to be the event that eventually would dissolve our marriage. Let me explain! She begin to blame "all men" for being "pigs". When you really stop and think about it. You can see how she might think thid way. At first our intimacy wasn't affected very much at all. Oh! There were times she couldn't be intimate, but they were few and far between. As time went by she got worse rather than heal she was getting by far worse. It got to the place we weren't intimate but once a month! I am a very virile man and need much more than that, so one night I told myself, " If she tells me no, one more time I am going to stop trying". The next night I tried once again, like I had so many times before, and she said no. From that day forward I never tried again and intsead I turned to pornography. I was at a point I needed releif and that was all I could think of without going to some other woman for my needs! I truly wasn't doing it to hurt her. It was simply for my survival! About seven years ago, when all the children had grown and left the house on their own, she went into what is commonly referred to as the "empty nest" syndrome. My oldest son Randy and I bought her a puppy that was to be all hers. It was a Pomeranian. She was small enough to sit on your hand and looked like a furry fluffball. When we presented her to Lanni, it was love at first sight! They became inseparable. Lanni now had somehting she could put all her love, affection, and attention toward! I have always loved dogs. Growing up on the farm, I had several over the years. It's that this little dog, I'll call her "Princess", was a very special little dog. She had the ability to grab your heart and demand your love and attention to her. She became more than a family pet. She was more like a child that wanted interaction from you! She did things that simply I thought was amazing. She loved watching television. She knew every commercial that had some sort of creature in them. She could be walking around the house bored, and the second she heard one of the commercials come on that she knew had a creature in it she was right in front of the television barking at it. If you was watching a movie she would come and lay down at your feet or by your side and watch thje movie with you. If per chance a creature appeared on the screen she was up in front of it and barking. She knew several creatures by name such as horse, cow, pig, sheep, and of course Softy the Bear. Every night she had a routine, and if she was feeling good at all she followed it almost to the minute each day. She would go in to the bedroom where Lanni was at 10:00 o'clock. She would watch television with Lanni. Then at 11:00 she would jump down and come into my office, where I always was on my computer doing whatever I was doing, to give me kisses and loves. Then she would go back into the bedroom and go under the bed where it was her special place, and wait for me to come to bed. When I finally did come to bed she would wait until I settled in and then come to my side of the bed. She would stand up on her two hind legs and ask me to pick her up and put her on the bed. Then she would lay down by me on her back and ask me to scratch and rub her sweet little tummy! All the while giving me kisses and loves. I sure do miss my Princess. What we didn't know when we bought her was her breed has a tendency toward a degerative disease, called collapsed trechea. The breathing tube begins to collapse and over time get progressively worse until it takes there life. Princess had this disease, and it started after we had taken her to the groomer to be groomed. They didn't know how to handle her so they restrained her by a tight leash. Princess hated leashes and would not be restrained without a fight. She begin to have these attacks every so often at first. Then they became more often everytime she had one. She would go into these coughing fits because her throat was collapsing and almost pass out. We felt so bad for her. It became apparent that she was in trouble and at that time the vets could only tell us that there really wasn't any viable repair option so enjoy her as long as we had her. Well, the time came,when we knew, we had to do what we both dreaded more than anything in the world. It was that night that Lanni told me she was taking Princess in the next day and having her put to sleep, so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. We both were torn through our hearts very deeply. That night I told my Princess that I loved her and that I want the pain to stop for her and I said my last "Goodbye". This is killing me now as I write this. The look on her face said "Daddy I just want it to stop. Please! Help me!" The next morning I woke and got ready for work and left by looking in on my Princess. I left and went to work. Lanni tried to call me at 6:45 am to tell me Princess had passed, in her arms, but it wasn't a pretty sight. Later, after doing some research on the internet, I found out what actually claime the life of our "Princess". She had an attack of hypo-glycemia. If we had known that was a very real possibility we could have avoided her passing for some time. You see, because she was coughing she could not eat, and there by she had very low blood sugar. I found out you could give her an insuline shot and she would have been ok, but it was too late for that now. Naturally now became the blame yourself game, and that is what Lanni began to do. She became engrossed into her work and started doing 80 hours a week to avoid coming home and being in ths place she had this horrible memory. Lanni began acting very irrational. She even started dating women. One morning I received a call from her best friend and was informed that Lanni had run off with her lover. I already knew she was seeing somebody but not who. I had seen her leaving the house one morning with someone, but could not see who it was. I now know who it was, and still is. I really had no reaction to this news except one. She could have had it all with very little reprocussion, if she would have done it right! I know now she was not thinking clearly! She was in a deep state of depression, and going deeper. She eventually saw that what she had done was wrong. She told me that Jill, her lover, still loved her other partner as well. Lanni told Jill to go back to her and try to make it work. Lanni took Jill to work and dropped her off and drove several blocks from there and parked in a parking lot. She then called one of her friends at her place of employment and told him she was sorry and she was going to end it all! Well, he called the emergency dispatch and they began an all out search for her. They found her just in the niche of time! They took her to the hospital and put her in the psycho ward. I called our children and told them to meet me at tjhe hospital. When I got there I was informed that Lanni did not want me there! I stayed anyway because she had no one else to lean on. She told our children whom were adults that she was going to finish the job once she was released. Well that kind of talk gave the authorities the evidence they needed to force her into a decision that she would have avoided any other way. Lanni is a very smart intelligent woman. She also is very up on the law in cases like hers. Her profession demands she be knowledgeable about these issues. So when they offered her the option of going to a psychlogical hospital or being taken with a court order, she chose the voluntary method. She knew if she went as a ward of the state she wouldn't get out until they said she could. So went went voluntarily. The next day Lanni called me from the hospital and asked me to bring her clean clothes as what sha had were blood soaked. So I gathered what she asked for and took them too her! I could tell by the look on her face she wasn't the Lanni I had loved and known all those years. I left the clothes and went home fully expecting her to stay there until she was better! A week later she called me again and asked me to come get her and bring her home. The case worker told her she was leaving to early but they were helpless to stop her! When I saw her this time she looked a lot better in her face. Like the old Lanni I knew. I took her home, and on the way we talked about how to end our marriage. She had already talked to her girlfriend about getting out. We were all in a bad situation and needed at least a temporary solution to our living situations. We agreed they would have the main bedroom and I would sleep in my den. Well after a few nights where the noise coming from the other room was rather loud I asked her if maybe they could just keep it down where I wouldn't have to hear it. Within the week she had rented an apartment and moved out. She took everything that she could grab on a whim and left. Now comes the part where the impact all this had on me, hit me like a ton of bricks. I have always been a strong willed, strong hearted and don't worry and fret about the situation, kind of guy. I had never experienced pressure like I have through out this whole ordeal! I was feeling it from all sides. The impact of her leaving was not an emotional one for me. Our marriage had been one of convenience for the last fifteen years. So I had dealt with that hurt and disappointment years before. This was from the economical side and the loss of Princess, as well as my work pressures were unreal. Even at work because I was a branch manager I was getting pressure from all sides. Not that it wasn't expected but with what was going in my personal life it became over whelming. I was getting it from the boss because our goals weren't being met. From the customers because product wasn't getting to them soon enough. Then last but not least from the warehouseman, for what ever reason on a daily run. My blood pressure was extremely high and wouldn't go down. Regardless what medicine my Doctor prescribed for me it just wasn't working. I lost my appetite and anyone that knows me knows I never loose my appetite. I lost well over 60 pounds, which was a good thing, but not the way I was doing it. I began thinking of how to end all this mess I was in. One of the more permanent solutions was to end my existance on earth. Well i thought about that for a while and then I prayed "God help me! I need your help!". That prayer seemed to help me get and seek the help I so desparately needed. In the midst of all this crap I had let myself emtiolly fall for a young lady who was not ready nor should have been to deal with my load of baggage I carried. When I approached her with the idea she could help me she didn't understand why I couldn't just turn it off when I was ina episode of depression. There I said it, I was in a semi stae of depression. She honestly thought I could just turn it on and off as I so desired. This just made my deoression worseand I reached out to anybody I thought could help me! I found out most people don't know about trigger words and phrases. They have the best of intentions but are not qualified to handle anybody that is where I was at. I have one friend, whom I love her and her family like they were my own family, that was able to help me. There were nights that she was on the pc literally talking to me and leading me through all this garbage in my life. Thanks to her I am all better today and have been medicine free and episode free for quite sometime now. Thank you Giggles, you are the best. I play pc games online and belong to a clan and we play each other all the time on our own servers. I have belonged to two different clans before my present clan whom I am very happy with. The first clan was an extreme clan and actually is a very fun and active clan. I still have many friends there. Back when I belonged there though, some events took place whhile I was in my depression that made me feel very unsafe there so I resigned my membership and joined another clan where I had some friends, thinking I can feel safe. Well for a couple of months it all went very smooth. Then all hell broke loose and I didn't feel safe from all the drama so I left there and i joined my present clan. The point is even in a stupid online game people are not very sensitive and understanding of others with issues they are dealing with and take it all way to serious. Now let me deal with some on going issues at the moment. I am in the process of filing bankruptcy chapter 11. Along with filing for divorce, and going to college to become what I have always wanted from the second I heard about this profession. I want to be a digital fornsic. I am so excited about this I am hving issues with waiting on others to get it to happen. I know it is going to happen But I dont have ths details yet! So my story is an on going event at the moment but I am back in the saddle again and want to move on with my life so I can once again be happy as we all are entitled to.

I just wanted to drop by and say its been good seeing y'all and playing with some of you on the ace mod sever! As a former member I have many friends here and many have wondered where I have been and how I am today! Well friends my life this last year is one that can only be described as pure hell! But now I am doing quite well! If you want me too I can post it a little at a time because of the events that has happened to me might help somebody get through a similar time in their life. I won't post unless you request me to! I have missed all my buddies here and wanted to let you all know I did not leave XI on bad terms as far as I was concerned but I left because of a emotional tie where I went to drew me there! Now that no longer exist and the place I went was not a good place for me to me so I left there and have been informed if I even tried to go back and see some of my friends there I would be banned! I am not sure I understand all this banning somebody because somebody has a vendetta against someone that is your friend but none the less I want to thank Rugger for making it possible for me to drop by and see you guys every once in a while! Your more than welcome to come play on our servver if you so desire but I don't think it is prudent to put the ip on your website! I just want to let you know we'd be happy to host you over there. Many have already come by but anybody that wants to just have fun and shoot the bull stop by as I will on yours! Good to be back playing with you all again! Your long time friend Bigmeandean!