OK, wasn't going to tell this story but can't keep this from my fellow idiots....
Starts out..about a week ago playing softball I blew out my left calf muscle running. I went to hospital in aganizing pain. The doctor told me to stay off my leg for a week. He perscribed me pain killers, Oxycodone 500MG "1 to 2 tabs as needed", Valium "1 tab four times a day and Ibuorofen 800 MG every three hours.
My family and I drove to chicago last weekend for a getaway. On Saturday we went to a Ukrainian Festival. Pretty much all I did was eat everything they had and drank as much beer as I could. Come Saturday late afternoon I had the worst farts ever. I could of melted a car if standing next to one. I get back to my hotel room "we are staying downtown Chicago" and my leg is swollen and my ankle is the size of a melon.
So just like an idiot I decide to take an Oxy for pain, Valium to relax muscle, and 2 800 MG Ib's to take away pain and bring swelling down. Well the wife and kid are going to bed "ya it's about 9pm now" and I'm not ready for bed. So, just like an idiot I decide to go out by myself and have a few more drinks.
I hit up a couple of nice bars downtown. I'm sitting at this bar and realize I'm completely fucked-up in a bad way. Trying to figure out why I'm fucked up and then realized I forgot I took all this medication. "btw still have the worst gas in the world". I start to head back to my hotel.
I make it to the hotel in one piece "thank goodness". I'm in the lobby waiting for my elevator and a few nice ladies come stand next to me and are waiting for the elevator as well. "real richy snobby chicks" I decide to say hi and ask where they are from and they wont give the time of day. TOTAL BITCHES!! I get on the elevator and I'm heading to the 18th floor and they are going to the 24th floor. I decide to give them a little gift before I leave the elevator. (I'm going to gas them).
The elevator door is about to open and I let one fly, not just a little one but all I have to give at this moment. LETS JUST SAY I GAMBLED AND LOST!!!!! I COMPLETELY SHIT MYSELF!!!!! It's a Ukrainian delight..NOT.. I could not imagine what these girls were thinking...
I get to my room, fly into bathroom, clean myself, run down hallway and throw underwear in garbage, head back to room and go to bed. All good.....
We are claening room on Monday getting ready to leave and my wife asks me if i know where a pair of my undies are. I tell her I have know idea. She now thinks the maid stole my underwear.
Well anyways thats part of my wonderful trip to Chicago.....
Peice Out
TITLEGUY