NickTheGrip

Congratulations - I am only around 800 behind you - watch out!!!!

"Me luv you long time" I have a question though. Do begging and clean up count to the "long time" (God I hope so - or I am SOL)

This is mine from MI to local, then this is to UK Huge difference in d/l but almost the same U/L

Danmnit - looks like I gotta change my avatar now Rogue - you beat me to the BTB one!!! BTW I use Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit and use Chrome almost exclusively, and I cannot remember the last time my 'puter had a hard drive crash. I honestly think something else is interacting with it, maybe through chrome, but I highly doubt it I like Firefox but it seems so laggy these days and I absolutely refuse to use IE My 2 cents

What I like is that, no matter what happens, he never "loses it" and starts swearing, like most of us would.

Lucky it didn't kill him.

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "Oh, come along with me then." "But sir, I have a wife with two children!" "Bring them along! And you, come with us too!" he said to the other man. "But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered. "Bring them as well!" They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

Classic Version The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. Modern Version The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with “green bias,” and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” Barack and Michelle Obama make a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan summers, or as Bill refers to it, the “Temperatures of the 80’s.” Joe Biden exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.” Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act” retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday’s between 1:30 and 3pm when there are no talk shows scheduled. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he’s in, which just happens to Be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him since he doesn’t know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant’s food, they are showing Obama, Pelosi and Reid standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of “fairness” has dawned in America. Sorry, I am just in a totally anti-politican mood tonight - I got millions of these!!!!!!!!

Hilary Clinton was taking a tour of a D.C. hospital while working to reform healthcare in the U.S. As she is touring, a doctor is explaining all the different functions of the hospital to her. Eventually, they pass an open room in the inpatient ward, where Hilary could clearly see a middle aged man masturbating with great enthusiasm. The doctor quickly instructed the floor nurse to close the door. It was too late, Hilary had already seen. She fiercely looked at the doctor and said, "What kind of hospital are you running here Doctor?" The doctor calmly explained that the man had a very rare ailment, which required him to ejaculate three times daily, or his testicles would swell and he would die. Hilary accepted the doctor's explanation and they moved on. A few minutes later, they came across another open room, yet this time they witnessed a nurse on her knees giving a different middle aged man oral sex. Hilary was outraged and called for an immediate explanation. "It's very simple Mrs. Clinton", said the doctor. "This man suffers from the same ailment as the last man, however he has a much better health plan."

One of my favorite quotes from a politician 'Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.' Ronald Reagan

It's pretty sad when at each election you have to choose the one you hate the least to vote for. That's all it seems to be these days. I can't remember the last time I voted for someone I actually liked and/or respected.!!! All politicians suck because they actually want the job, and that's the last person who should be in a position of such power. Politics Just remember "poli" comes from the latin for many and a tic is a blood sucking insect................Nuff said

When I was in Her Majesty's Royal Navy, we performed the "Armilla" Patrol which was escorting British merchant ships in and out of the Gulf during the Iran/Iraq War. We had the joy of escorting, among others, what was then the largest ship in the world - the Batillus, a ULCC (Ultra large Crude Carrier) with a deadweight of 550,000 metric tonnes. It was in a group with three Shell UK ships which were a paltry 350,000 tonnes. We were on a frigate and when we were close by it was f%ing huge!!!! By comparison the JFK has a deadweight of only 22,000 tonnes. Pity its decommed now, as the US only has 11 active carriers left. They are pretty awesome. I wish I had some pictures to show, but my parents threw out all my stuff when I emigrated to the US as it was cluttering their house. all my pictures were in one of the boxes ....boo hooo Any how, here is a link so you can check it out!!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batillus_class_supertankers

wouldn't that be a wide face - lol You know, in the short time I have been here I have come to realize you are the biggest bunch of idiots I have ever met!!!!! which is effin great..................................... I feel right at home and it feels goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!!!! Don't know about anyone else, but I ain't going nowhere till I go "tits up"

Well guys, I tried to upload a picture of my POS (piece of shit), but the website rejected it because it said it sucked too Bad!!!!!

Here are some more to go with that (from my frazzled mind - too many drunken nights in the 80s and 90s, and the internet, of course) A hangover is the wrath of Grapes (Unknown) If you know someone who is trying to drown their sorrows you might want to tell them sorrows can swim (Jackson Brown) This is the one disadvantage with wine, it makes man mistake words for thought (Samuel Johnson) A man who was fond of wine was offered grapes at dessert during dinner. Much obliged, I am not accustomed to taking my wine in pill form" (Savarin) Once during prohibition I was forced to live on nothing but food and water (WC Fields) Here's to a long life and a merry one A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer and another one! (Unknown) I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. (Frank Sinatra) Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. (John R. Kemble) Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. (Dave Barry) Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. (Unknown) I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody. (M*A*S*H, Hawkeye, "Ceasefire," 1973) Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. (Unknown) Wine is sunlight, held together by water. (Galileo) A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. (W.C. Fields) I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver. (Phil Harris) I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. (Don Marquis) Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. (Robert Heinlein) I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. (Frank Nicholson) When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. (Henny Youngman) My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. (Henny Youngman) Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the time of our life. (Unknown) Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. (Phyllis Diller) How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? (Unknown) If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. (P.J. O'Rourke) and we all know the famous drinking song (sung to the tune of "Doe, a deer" from the Sound of Music) dough - the stuff that buys my beer Ray - the guy that pours my beer Me - the guy that drinks my beer Far - a long way to the john So - I'll have another beer La - la la la la la - beer Tea - no thanks I ll have a beer That'll bring us back to - Dough, etc

I will keep him in my prayers. At my age these things start to loom so it is always in the back of my mind. Be strong for him and I sincerely hope and pray he pulls through. Like Laz says, they can do some damn amazing things these days that weren't even thought of 20 years ago. Peace to you and yours

Was it Ben Franklin that said "Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy!!!"

Now them's some good drugs Sonovabitch - I need some of them ( not for me, for the wife, as she always complains "who you going to please with that little thing", to which I always reply - ME)

As I read somewhere, I will start thinking outside the box, when there is some evidence of any thinking inside of it.............. Here's a deeper thought for you: If you drop a cat it always lands on its feet, and if you drop a piece of toast it always lands butter-side down. What happens when you duct tape the toast to the cat, back and drop it?????

I posted the review on Orbitz (where we booked the trip), Trip Advisor and Expedia. I hope that's enough. I am only afraid that I put people off the whole area when the only experience we had was our resort. I have no real insight into the other resorts except what people were saying in the line at the airport to go home. There it seemed to be about 50/50 with some horror stories and some other people saying it was just fine. And Lazslo, this is one of those rare times when it was not better than a good day of work, although we would probably have been better simply staying at home!!! The way it works with us is I get to pick, then the wife, then we have one for the kid. I always pick beaches (Cancun, PV, "Hell"), she always picks Europe, so guess where we are going next year. At least we know what to expect there, having been over there a few times. She is currently wavering between Paris (she has always wanted to go) and touring GB some more (get to see me mum and brother at least) Second mortgage, here we come - LOL

While in the COD2 server tonight I was asked about my recent vacation and when I mentioned how awful it was some people wanted to know why. Rather than bog the talk channel in the game up, I said I would write up what went wrong and post it on the site as a warning for anyone else who might consider going to the same place we did - This is a little long winded so I apologize, but if you skim, you will still get the general drift. Please don't get me wrong, I am not doing this to whine, but if I can prevent someone else from making the same mistake we did, it will have been worth it. Just this past week my family and I went on a well deserved vacation to the Carribean. Having "done" Cancun and the Mayan Riviera countless times and with the wife being from Mexico we decided to try something different.So we decided on Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic. I had jeard a lot of good things about it and word of mouth has always been my favorite reference so off we went - on the vacation from "HEll" It all started at the airport. In the arrivals side there is absolutely no air conditioning at all, it is basically outside, and you have to walk from the plane all the way to the terminal in 90 degree, humid heat. Then you pass into the entry area, where everyone is herded like cattle through various checkpoints, including one where you line up to pay the $10 "entry fee". They give you a card, then you line up again so they can take the card off you.Then there is the usual immigration and customs. At the entrance to the cattle hall there is a logjam where you have to have your picture taken with some "local" people who look so bored they are almost asleep (they get you on the way back for the $9. for the picture. I took one look at it and told them to go f^^k themselves as one bitch was picking at her nose in the picture). We finally got on the road with the local ground transportation after running the gauntlet of people trying to get you to go in their cab (God knows where you would end up) and waiting outside for almost 45 minutes for the guy to come back with his little minivan, and drove till we got to the resort area entrance. It looked just like a fricken concentration camp with security and barbed wire and such. Now I am all for security but I heard it is more to keep you in the resort than to keep people out. Finally we got to reception, and started the the check-in process, which only took 2 hours because there was only one check in desk and 5-6 families in front of us, with a thousand questions and complaints already. (By the way, we stayed at the Barcelo Bavaro Beach Family Resort - I hope that it is only this resort complex and not all the area which is like this) We got the keys to our room and went there. We had to carry all of our luggage up four flights of stairs (outside in 90 degree heat still) as no one was "available" to help us, even though there were 4 porters sitting in reception sleeping. Well let me start with the good points. The A/C in the room was very good. OK, I am done with the good points. This is the ONLY area in the entire resort with any relief from the heat whatsoever. None of the bars, restaurants, public areas or lobbies have any A/C at all. I know it is July in the Tropics, but just a little relief would have been nice, especially in the restaurants. We heard numerous tales of things being stolen from the rooms and the reaction from the reception people seemed to indicate this was not only known, it was accepted as part of the stay. My wife had her "logo" clothing stolen. Thankfully most of my clothes are crap so they left them alone!!!!! The minibar in the room kept the local beer (Presidente - which I think is Dominican for Bats piss) at an ice cool 85 degrees F, and good luck getting the damn thing refilled. Ours was refilled once in 3 days.There is construction going on right behind the resort, which blocks the way to the beach and they work from 7 in the morning (think jackhammers and sirens) till around 10pm at night and every room in the resort is exposed to it. There is construction dust everywhere so you cannot open the sliding door for fear of letting a bunch of the dust get in your room.To get to the beach (which is the only other good point - its beatiful) you have to board a tram tham takes you along all four of the resorts in the complex, till you get to one where you can now walk to the beach. The tram is packed and you had better be ready to push your way on and off as, at this time of the year, it seems the majority of people there are from Central and South America and no one seems to have gone to the school of common sense or decency or manners. I was walking with a 5yr old sick kid in my arms and they push you out of the way to get on the tram first, then simply sit there staring ahead so as not to catch your incriminating eye - assholes. The food in the place is absolutely horrendous, everything is left out far too long, in the heat, so everything ends up at the same temperature. There is zero insect control so there are flies walking all over the food. Most of it is undercooked and they recycled most things from day to day. You get a little suspicious when you see the same main dishes 4 days in a row. Like I said, we have travelled all over the area before, I even lived in Mexico for almost 1 1/2 years and only got sick one time. This place got me sick within a day. I spent the whole vacation with severe stomach cramps (to the point of tears of pain) and rocket propeled diarrohea, which Pepto and Immodium didnt even touch. The next day my 5 year old son got it and one day later my Mexican wife (who has a far greater immunity to these things) got it even worse than me. We talked with the only other North Americans there and every single one of them was sick to some extent. The all inclusive resort included what they call "national" drinks which means stuff made locally. If you wanted something like, say, Absolut Vodka, you had to pay extra for that and one of the bar staff was actually caught pouring the cheap crap into one of the expensive bottles to sell to a customer, and got mad when she was caught, like it was our fault. Talking about the bar staff, they, like every single other employee in the place, had the most miserable sour, "fuck-off" attitude I have ever come across. You would walk up to the bar, they would make eye contact, then leave, and you stand there waiting like an ass for them to come back and give you the "stop bothering me" pissy attitude when you finally get to place your order. The whole complex was full of pissy attitudes. By the way, some smart idiot decided polished marble would be a great thing to make the floors out of in the pool area and open reception. It looks really nice, but when it gets wet you had better be a fricken gold medaliist Ice skater to walk across it (did I mention pool area - it sometimes get wet around there). I was coming back from returning my beach towels (they wouldnt take them at check out and wanted to charge me $25 each for them even though i had the towels in my hand) when my feet went out from under me and I damaged my knee pretty bad. I was laying on the wet floor screaming and they all just looked at me like I was bothering them. Fortunately some other guests helped me up and got me to a chair. I decided against a local doctor visit and would see a doctor when I got back stateside. While I am sitting there in agony, the guy at check-out tells me we cannot leave until they check the room to make sure we didn't steal anything. My wife had to hold me down as I was getting up to punch this rat-faced little bastard in the mouth. Only when the trusty housekeepers had checked the room did they give us permission to leave (I was told security would not let us off the property without it) Some of the other highlights: One internet access point for the entire 4-resort complex, located, of course, in the one furthest from ours. They stated wireless was available, but when I asked, it was only avaiable next to the access point. The access was $4 for fifteen minutes whether you used their computers or yours and there was no provision to print anything. I measured the temperature in the italian restuarant at 105 degrees (with my kids thermometer), with zero ventilation. I am sure that amounts to negative calories. They close all the pools at 6pm, just when a lot of people want to get in and cool off and they are like nazi guards about people not getting in the pools. We watched one kid urinating in the family pool at our complex, under the guidance of his father, with the pool nazi standing there watching them. I am not talking about peeing in the pool while you are swimming as you know a lot of people do, but actually walking up to the pool, whipping it out and pissing in there from the side (I guessed his age at around 6) There was, or course, not the slightest smell of chlorine to be detected in any of the pools so I am sure that urine was in there for a long time. The power went out at least 4 times per day, which countered the A/C being good as it would not reset itself and you would get back to the room and have to wait for it to bring the temperature down to a livable level. The mosquitos (if I can call them that - they were more like small birds) were vicious. They resort obviously did absolutely nothing to try to control them, like spraying as they were everywhere. When you entered your room, you spent the next 15 minutes with a flip-flip, killing the bastards. If you did not, you would pay the price dearly during the night. My wife's legs looked like something out of a horror movie, with welts the size of a quarter all over them. (not sure if that was the mosquitos or bed bugs - either way the suitcases still have not come in the house as they are infested with little bugs) Well that is all I can write as the more I say the more I get angry again When you compare this with, say, Cancun at a comparably priced resort, it is like night and day. Yes, the Mexicans have their issues too, but nothing like the litany of grief I have mentioned above. To put it in perspective, My wife is one strong and resilient, bitchy Mexican (and proud of it) and she was in tears when we finally left the ground to come home, she was so glad to leave. If anyone is interested, once I can stomach looking at the pictures I can upload a few to show some of the "highlights" from this.

I'll send you some Paulaner hefe weissen from the US if you want (one of my faves) :-) (Imported from Germany, of course)

not a huge fan of zombie movies but Zombieland was fricken hilarious I loved the "Rules" for Columbus, so I thought I would list them. I feel a certain kindred to #2 - "Double tap" Cardio The Double Tap Beware of Bathrooms Wear Seat Belts The “Skillet” Travel Light Get a Kick Ass Partner Bounty Paper Towels Bowling Ball Opportunity Knocks Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero) Limber Up It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint Avoid Strip Clubs When in doubt Know your way out The Buddy System Check the back seat Enjoy the little things Swiss army Knife although some of them are "unofficial"

We have a lot of equipment going into the GM plant in Toluca this year, as well as Ramos (which is near Monterrey) so I think I will be getting back down there. I agree - they love their soccer and they love to party. They leave all the violence to the drug dealers, I guess!!!! I lived there (in Leon) for almost 2 years so I got to know the culture real good. I almost miss it down there