You bring tears to an old man's eyes. But let's put this to rest - I don't want to dwell on it.
As someone said, it's a different conversation in the admin group. Bottom line, I pushed too hard on something and in so doing I acted toward some like a first-class prick, toward others, condescending and arrogant. That's not me, I'm ashamed of it, and I realized I needed a time out.
I left the clan to punish myself and get my shit in order - no other reason. God knows it was not to abandon friends here or because anyone asked me to leave - to their great credit, not even the folks toward whom I acted like an asshole. And you all know - as evidenced right here by the expressions in this thread - there is NO greater punishment than self exile from XI and such wonderful people, period, end of story!
But this was what I needed to do - for me, and to me. And believe you me it's working.
What's done is done. I couldn't come back now if I wanted to (we have rules about that) but the thing is, I'm not ready to, so let's move on. When I feel I have my head back on straight I hope to come back not as Harry the Moron, but (hopefully) as Harry the Idiot. Meantime I'll be around - here as a registered member, and in the game.
A thousand thank-you's - I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to be able to count you as my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!