Ha, it was just a matter of time for something like this.
"...and learn about metrics like the average velocity of thrusts, frequency of sessions, average skin temperature, and other details you probably don't need to know about."
"Because modesty is dead, users can use the app to share their stats with their friends or the world in what can only be described as a literal dick-measuring contest."
The way I see it, we need 2 new topics on our forums. 1 were we upload our stats to and have our measuring contest, and 1 for improving those stats.