RobMc

Gotcha, the kids look great it's nice being a grandparent

By the pictures I know he's young, bwtf is he talking about?

She's after my corkscrew

It's your age mate, bet you can't run as fast too

I think we're going to have to face this buddy she's gone, all the signs are there, someone's appeared with a screw top, and all we have to offer are corks.

You're not going to fit into that new frock

UPDATE Wow what an interesting drinks party, it takes allsorts doesn't it? I was invited to a gathering of 'friends' for some drinks and 'titbits', I never suspected this was a literal translation. My mobility scooter made short work of the journey, parking it outside I gathered most guests were already present, the stench of cheap perfume was overpowering, it was so strong the gas board turned up following complaints from the neighbours. Curtains twitched as I knocked on the door, my street cred had hit a new low, must remember to do a drive by at the weekend as a reminder who is 'Da Daddy'. The door was opened by the most stunning Asiatic creature I had ever laid eyes on, face of an Angel, figure from the Gods and 'Love and Hate' on her hairy knuckles, this was where it was at. The poodle bounded up to greet me (is it normal to lick your crotch?) wagging her short tail, which appeared to have a dildo attached? The high pitched womens laughter from the front room was a misnomer, turned out there wasn't a female present, however as us old sailors say 'Any Port in a Storm'. The front room was brimming with Women/Men/Binary people dressed to the nines, there were more wigs than at Versailles in the 1700's. Old Rob didn't fall for the gold coin on the floor or the 'is my fly unbuttoned'? lines, there was an air of disappointment but they rallied when my new found buddy entered the room resplendent in a blue frock, he reminded me of Jointz. The party had started TBC

I'm disappointed, you boys always have to drag sex into Rob's pure as the driven snow stories, you all need a cold shower.

You on those mortice joints again buddy? eating what? aw you corrected it?

OK fckrs, now was the perfect time for Rob to do some research into this LBQZ Rainbow thing, I realise it's getting popular and there's nothing like popular to earn a few bob. My pimping enterprise was going well and so were the coke sales, my new furry ride had the only satnav in the country highlighting corners in every red light district in the UK, and coke had now overtaken lemonade at the over 60's dances. I'd noticed this 'bloke' 7 doors away 6' 3", built like a Gorilla, with a permanent chin of stubble was looking a bit different, I think the tits gave it away. Curious as usual I was passing one day when he came out of the front door to walk his poodle. 'All right mate errr Maam' I uttered, 'cold enough for your balls to drop off ?' I cheerily uttered. To my amazement he burst into tears, the poodle almost drowned, but worse his shirt magnificently displayed his new 'wares' better than any miss wet t shirt competition (remember Pengy?), Rob being a gentleman averted his eyes. 'How did you know?' he sobbed, I was perplexed, 'know what'?, I wondered 'I only had the snip and tuck operation yesterday, I miss them already' he said in a falsetto voice, 'I've made a terrible mistake' 'Why what's wrong?' I asked 'It's only been 24 hours and already I can't reverse park and incessantly nag my partner' he replied 'would you like to come for a drink?' I'll report back tomorrow

RobMc

I miss old @AyaqGuyaq, but not in a gay way, no one wants to play anymore do they?

NO Stop Torturing Rob

FFS ? next it will be barbless hooks, putting them back, and pin a tail on the Moose, slippery slope mate

What breed of dog is it??

Hey now, get off this Rainbow thing, I may be chief snowflake but LTBGQTRX I ain't, I'm a MAN, ask my teddy bear.

Unless you're a steak

I think you're right Key, @Biotech we're in trouble, a whole weekend she's been quiet, I suspect that some cad is tempting her away with promises of a Magnum or cask, how do we fight back? She doesn't strike me as a case girl, more refined, anyway some research into wines of the world this morning, see if I can lure her back.

Now you just know you'll pay for this buddy Why?

I'm stuck Harry, surely someone else in the world must have a solution, have you thought of posting on the Steam forums?

Red wine - still mine

Good mate, still winding them up

Is there a problem there ????????? When she finds out what MGF stands for she'll ditch him for sure