TBB Posted December 6, 2015 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 21105 Content Per Day: 3.74 Reputation: 22829 Achievement Points: 151506 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 409 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Posted December 6, 2015 Speeding Blonde One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes." replied the cop. "Here's what you do," said the dispatcher. "give her the stuff back, and drop your pants." "What? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......" Cereal One day, a blonde was watching the news and the news anchor said that a serial killer was on the loose. So, she rushed into her kitchen, grabbed all her cereal and brought it down to the basement and said "Don't worry, no one can kill you down here!" Dandruff A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?" Breast Feeding A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out." As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Well, your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus!" Blonde Cop A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a smartass!, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this." hxtr, JohnnyDos, tsw 8.5 and 1 other 4 Awards
hxtr Posted December 7, 2015 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 2.94 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129714 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Posted December 7, 2015 I used to be a blond. I take offense to all these jokes and any future ones.
bds1961 Posted December 7, 2015 Member ID: 1213 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 19 Topic Count: 174 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 5370 Content Per Day: 0.96 Reputation: 14015 Achievement Points: 47519 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 175 Joined: 03/04/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 2 hours ago Birthday: 10/11/1961 Device: iPad Posted December 7, 2015 About 25 years ago when blonde jokes were going around like crazy I went out on a double date. The woman I was with was a blonde. Me and the other guy and his girlfriend starting telling blonde jokes and having a great time. The girl I was with got really upset and went off on us. not a pretty scene. Well any way we were at the French restaurant at the bar drinking pouse cafe's It is a seven layered drink with a float of 151 on top. to drink it you light it and suck it out with a straw. Well after she had been really pissed off about the blonde jokes and chewed us out she turned to her drink that was just delivered bent over to drink it and lit her hair on fire. She never complained about the blonde jokes again. Of course made for a short night for me. True story had to share it TBB 1 Awards
TBB Posted December 8, 2015 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 290 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 21105 Content Per Day: 3.74 Reputation: 22829 Achievement Points: 151506 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 409 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 4 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Author Posted December 8, 2015 I used to be a blond. I take offense to all these jokes and any future ones. That just goes to show the blonde jokes are accurate!!!! JohnnyDos 1 Awards
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