DEEJAYKEG

Welcome, Jonny! (Since BF3 arrived that has distracted me from Crysis Wars but no doubt we'll play together at some stage.)

(again!) I'm very pleased to see you back as I always enjoyed playing with you on COD5. Stick with us, this time, please!

The only one I have had to use in anger is Acronis True Image and, I am delighted to say, it worked a treat. The only problem was, as the image I had made was a few weeks old, I lost some data. One can set it up to do incremental back-ups, though.

Bravo!

One of my nephews began calling me "Keg Man" due to the size of my beer belly and devotion to the art of ale-tasting. So, for a while, on Quake etc., I played as "thekegman". This developed into DeeJayKeg by the addition of my initials (coincidentally, when I was younger, I did do some deejaying).

+1

Congratulations! Time to give you the clap...

Enjoy your special day, Stormcrow!

Welcome!

Welcome!

Welcome!

Welcome!

The average price in the UK is €1.64 per litre (locally, I pay €1.67!) This (for the benefit of our readers outside Europe) equates to €6.20 per US gallon. Using today's exchange rates, that is US$ 8.14 per US gallon. Commentators confidently predict that we shall soon be paying £1.50 (€1.79 or US$ 2.35) per litre. That would equate to US$ 8.88 per US gallon. A major component of the price is taxation and whilst there are loud calls for fuel duties to be frozen/reduced, the government's stiff austerity measures mean there is unlikely to be much scope for that. I am lucky in that few of my journeys can be regarded as essential. I guess only those to the district hospital (not well connected by public transport) fall into that category. I do expect that we shall, eventually, dispose of our car as it is becoming less affordable. Some of our politicians believe that the solution for people like us would be to spend between £17,000 and £30,000 on a new hybrid/ electric car. They may want to save our planet but are clearly already living on another one!

Welcome!

I see it is a 4GB system. You haven't described the crash but if it is the game freezing up and/or "Battlefield 3 has stopped working", you may like to try the simple fix described here to increase the amount of memory available to the game. It solved my problems (thanks again, xCaliber).

Sounds good. No pesky snipers in either!

The Press always print sensationalist, exaggerated rubbish when such routine natural events occur. This CME comes a few days since one idiot employed by a broadsheet published ridiculous "news" about a 1-in-625 chance of an asteroid strike and then waffled on in gibberish about "millions of light years". Proper science correspondents are few and far between. I tend to ignore the scaremongers and head over to NASA to read more balanced and scientific text. I know one of these knocked out power in Quebec 22 years ago but that level of interference with our technology is very rare indeed.

HOLY HUMOUR A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means? The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth..' (This one is my favourite) There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady. "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning." A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation." There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust." A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... " A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business." People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention. Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming." The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute.. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it, he collapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints..... When he sees that you are living what you read, he flees...... And when you are about to forward this message.... He will try and discourage you.. I just defeated him!!! Any other takers?

Whatever your job is, you can try to make it more interesting...

Great to hear from you, Morris! You're in my thoughts and prayers, fella! Please take care of yourself. Looking forward to the welcome home party on the COD5 server!

The Daily Telegraph newspaper compiles pictures of unusual signs sent in by readers. I liked the latest batch, especially the first one in the slideshow - very useful if 2manybeers has "whipped your ass" recently! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/9126232/Sign-Language.html

Who? Oh, THAT Hans... Welcome back! Just stay out of my helicopter!

Welcome! (And the bonus is I now know what the Dutch word for a "corn" is!)

Welcome, Stone!