hxtr

Joe you will always be an Idiot. lol

I can help with that... Then God said.. Make it so. hahaha

A hxtr update...... MY DAUGHTER AND HER BOYFRIEND ARE MOVING TO TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is huge... very huge for me. She was looking to move out of Virginia Beach. Got her associate degree and he is getting his as well at the end of summer. Hers in medical field and his in Technology. San Antonio just does not have the technology jobs like Houston or Dallas does but they will come here first and stay here at my house.. got plenty of room... and they then can get a job in Houston and move on with their life away from the sponges. I would love for them to be in Dallas area or Plano area but my daughter Ezra really want to move back to Houston. She grew up there. Way to hot and humid for me.. lol Funny because it is hot and humid here as well. The traffic sucks like Washington D.C.'s does... lived there as well. And anything.. ANYTHING is better than Virginia Beach. They pay for crap and nothing NOTHING to do. You get tired of a fake beach after about 2 weeks. I am one very very happy father.... Love you guys... and thanks for the kind words. I will pop in once and a while but just can be OCD on this site no more. Would love to keep my tags and be banned from this site but I know that cant happen. See some of you jerks in TS later. PapaDean and I will be hanging out. I am not running away.. just walking away. Step away from the keyboard.. just step away. I heard that lots from lots of you before. Pete was so right for the first time in his entire life. hahahahaha

I have had to say this to two peeps so I will explain here as I have nothing to hide and no ill will at all rather nothing by love for this place. I'm so very OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) about certain things. My first car was a 1989 Honda Accord and I use to clean my car to the point the engine was cleaner than the rest of the car. I would remove the tail lights and front light plus other to clean under them. I would power wash under my car to make sure it was clean. Had access to a lift at the time. I would dump the oil then run it to heat it up then dump it again and change oil and filter to make sure no old oil was in it. I had ZERO tarnish in my engine even at the millage of 164,000 miles +-. I waxed it every week if I could and she looked perfect all the time. I could not stand any dent or other on her and when I did get one.. every time I seen it... it turned my stomach. Just a 1989 Honda Accord but I loved it so much... then it was taken from me via an accident. I refuse to love a car like that again so my cars since then looked like shit but they all ran great. That was a needed change in my life as I spent way way to much time doing every preventive maintenance I could. Pretty fucked up if you ask me. My neighbors would joke with me.. So what is wrong with her today. I would say.. nothing just making sure. I waxed her in 30 degree weather.. didn't start out that cold but by the time I got done it did. Boy did my neighbors get a kick out of that. XI is 1989 Accord. I need to wreck it to move on to better and more important things. I hope this makes sense. I have to lay off this site so I can move on. Otherwise I will keep doing things over and over expecting a different result. I have always been good at entertaining myself then others. Spent lots of my life alone and when you have nothing to do it drives me nutz. I have lots of things I need to do and I need to stop cleaning my damn car. Hope you all understand and ZERO ill will to XI or any of you. In fact the complete opposite. I still even today love and miss my 1989 Honda Accord. No other car since means anything like it did and never will. They are a tool to get the job done and that is it. I really need to get things done and divert my skills or attention in other ways or I wont get them done. Losing my 1989 love of my life was the best thing that happened to me in the vehicle kind of sense. I knew everything about that car. EVERYTHING! Let me tell you a story...... related to this car and it is happening again. I have 4 people that can confirm this. My wife, 2 kids and Best friend John Devaux. One morning I was dreaming. I dreamt I was going to my garage got in my car and started her up and was humm... something is wrong. I popped the hood and looked at the engine and seen my A/C compressor was broke. I woke up an a panic then had to call my best friends John Devaux. I always had to tell him my crazy dreams. We laughed and that was it. A few days later my A/C in my house went out. I was like fuck... it was the house A/C not my car. $2500 later had her fixed. Then a week or so later John's car in his beloved Honda 1995 Accord's A/C went out. He was so pissed at me. He said don't ever tell my your dreams again. A week or so later my A/C in my car went out. I was like... NO FUCKING WAY. I started smoking pot after and other and it stopped my crazy dreams. If you go read a post about me almost going through a barricade and me having a dream my father was the one driving that almost but how viid it was.. this shit is happening to me again and I don't like what I am dreaming. I was told I had to stop this site but didn't want to. The omen was if the forum for us was not created. So glad it was not as I knew already I needed to step away but how can you when you love something so much. All I am doing is wrecking my 1989 Honda Accord again. I hope this clears things up..... I need to make changes and this is the only why I know how. I will still be on TS, oovoo, and game once and a while but I need to put this site down. I have to so please understand it is not XI.. it is ME.

I wondered if I should use the word whore. hahahahaha so what corner does she get Pete?

i found out today I'm part Scottish, Welch, Dutch, Native America Indian and German.... so we all say FU Ricko you Brit! never new I had Welch in me but knew the reast.. so it is normal for me to hate you. hahahahaha

that was good... hahahhaaha

no wonder he sucks so bad..... he has no tactics. hahahahhaa

Nice Hans.. it is great to have family Dutch or other. We are a world wide family.....

Very glad you posted harry.. you are valued here by many and of course myself. You will always be harry to me and XI..... forever! And you know you will always be welcome in your home. Im going to grill tonight so if you want some bad ass chicken, hot dogs, corn on the cob and other.. come on over. Love you man like Rugger loves everyone like cake!

congrats gatorgirl!!! so you getting a boobjob... no boob job but a boobjob. you better or it was a wasted 22 years with him. hahhaha jk have a great one...

Congrats girl!!!!!!!!!!! just in time for your resurrection of your internet. hahahahaaha

that is a great idea.. I love to walk so going to do that more. I love yard work.. so will do that more.. I love to do things that get me tired as I feel good when I do. It is when I dont that gets me. I should sleep good tonight. I worked my ass off. Had a bast helping my neighbor and I CAN STILL WELD. Bad ass.... been over 20 years since the last time. Now I will do more. Love good neighbors... and going to have another best friend with bill my next door neighbor. 20 years older than me but a great guy and he has some skills. He just need the help of a younger guy like myself. I am only 21. hahahahaha

this is new.. to us that is. They can record live data.. a terabyte of data per plain every day. Hubble cant do that. These plains will be in the air for years.. .. before long they will have them all over. cool technology and we have satalits that can see the date on a dime but pictures not video

When I decide to do something I just do it by finding tricks to help me kick. It really is not hard but the sleep problem is a problem as well. One thing I dont deny is that I want one of whatever it is.. then I can talk to myself and work it out. I dont deny I want one I acknowledge it and move on as it is like a wave.. comes and goes. It will do that for a bit. Only alcohol does that to me now as that was the last I quit... so wish me luck. I have a hard time doing thing in moderation so I have to quite all together. For drinking when I get real thirsty.. i just got something to eat. I dont like to drink on a full stomach. Waist of time. I have one beer in my ref and it will stay their as a tease.. if I can leave it alone then I am good. I was drinking a 1/2 gal of bourbon every 3 days.. then went to beer which I really dont like as much then it was way easier to stop. Again the food helped. Plus support from a friend. Smoking cigs was hardest but i switched to pipe tobacco and got the taste of cigs out my system and cant even stand to have one now. I was down to 3 rolled up pip cigs so was not even addicted to the nicotine anymore according to my doc. I just thought was... like pot. Never addicted just thought I needed it. But I know I dont. you vap so not near as bad. I smoked so much at one time if I pissed in the dirt a pot plant would grow. But now I have no anxiety and that is cool. Hate that feeling. I dont mind seeing family as before I was always wanting to get home to smoke. Now I dont mind sticking around having long conversations without as smoke or leaving. I hate anything that controls me. Now being constant is my goal. And yes the fog has cleared big time. Amazing what I can remember now. Like how to get to someones house without a GPS. hahahhaaha so true. I have quit many vices but this is the first time I quit them all.. unless forced. Now working on the once and a while porn look. I need a visual when I touch myself. lol I have lost like some 30 to 35 lbs during this process. That helps my heath and I am a healthy guy for some reason. But pot smoking is not near as bad a cigs and alcohol and my thought are clear than ever. What is great Im getting my wind back. I dont hurt like I was when doing some work... but it will take a bit to get it even better.

i can do mental health, rehab, idiot training and much more. Great Idea!

i can only masturbate so much pancakes. lol I waled around and around and around walmart. Exercise always helps but I have so much energy. I need a hobby for sure.... i am picking up reading. Have not done that since 2006 as well. lol oh except this crap on this site.

Your one top of Frenchi again?

YES

I was about to go to church/Sunday school for the first time in years.. like 7 or 8 this AM then I realized it was Saturday. OMG I'm ready to go somewhere! What an idiot! I can go back to bed now but my Damn dreams really mess me up. When I smoked pot I did not dream or remember them now they are vivid as a movie. FUCK! I talked to a nurse for my finger the other day..... and told her about stopping smoking.. drinking plus she wanted me to stop Xanax someone gave me to help sleep. So I did and now Im going nutz. I only need .5 and I wont ever abuse that shit.... not my type of drug. I dont like feeling weird. So making a damn APT. Any suggestions to suppress my dreams. Insomnia from hell. I feel like I have had very little sleep. Want to hear about one of my many dreams tonight..... didn't like what I seen. Dont like other people being hurt and this guy was kicking the shit out of another guy and I could get to him to help. A girl was holding him crying and his what appeared to be his girlfriend was crying trying to get him to stop but he wouldn't. Looked like a movie but felt real then I wake up in a panic. If they don't do something I going to smoke pot again or take the xanax . Pissing me off as this dream is stuck in my had for the rest of the day. He was killing that guy kicking punching him and kicking him after he was already knocked out or other. I dont like violence another reason I dont watch movies anymore as that is all they are about. Any suggestions to suppress them a legal way? Going to go to walmart and walk around. Raining way to hard to take a long walk. FUCK!!!!!!!

this is true wildthing... and we can start some drama. I apologize to Google for putting him up to it.. he tired to warn me but was not sure what he was worried about. now I know. still funny but I should have known better. here is the audio of me taking responsibility that google wanted. ok i tried to attach file is wish peeps would stop bashing on Gorilla for me.. it makes sense now why he got upset. He did not like the fact who it came from and I understand that.... NOW. We are making it worse calling him names back and it is getting way personal.

So glad you are doing better LOC. Could not image you would even being close to leaving. Once you are discharged from the other place what will your housing situation be? I have wondered that before and another prayer of hope that it works out as well. And never worry about losing the nurses.. I will be your special nurse. I look HOT in white.

I been listening to this band over and over for sometime. Still cant get enough and love it stuck in my head all day. Not many bands I can say the same.

LOM hahahahahhaa I bet that was funny a shit a few years later. hahhahhaa I was so afraid he was going to say do it.. as I would have. Im stupid like that. Funny thing I have done enough electrical in attics laying in installation itching my ass off seating and the fiberglass that I am immune to the fibers on my skin. Just does not bother me but it sure did at first. I hate attic work as I have put my leg though before but never fell though like you. hahahahaaf Idiot! I also hate attic work because I am tall and attics at times are way to small and you have to uaa umm errrrr fuuf fufff umm all the way through it. That American Bull dog is a cool dog. Everywhere I went he was by my side. All Dogs seem to love me.. guess cuz of my energy of love I show them.

kind of like how I smoked you if Freeze Tag yesterday. hahahahhaa I really do suck at that game at times.