This Could Be Us Someday - Or Now

[JohnnyDos]

 A Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a
check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to
start writing things down to help them remember ..
> Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want
anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
>
> 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
>
> 'Sure.'
>
> 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
>
> 'No, I can remember it.'
>
> 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down,
so as not to forget it?'
>
> He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

>
> 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?'
she asks.
>
> Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream
with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
>
> Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns
from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the
plate for a moment.
>
> 'Where's my toast?'
>
>
> An elderly couplehad dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the
wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
> The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
> The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
> The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What's the name of that
flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.'
> 'Do you mean a rose?'
> 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and
yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
>
>
> Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already
dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't
need my help to leave the hospital.
> After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the
elevator.
> On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
> 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of
her hospital gown.'
>
>
>
> A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
> 'So I hear you're getting married?'
> 'Yep!'
> 'Do I know her?'
> 'Nope!'
> 'This woman, is she good looking?'
> 'Not really.'
> 'Is she a good cook?'
> 'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
> 'Does she have lots of money?'
> 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
> 'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
> 'I don't know.'
> 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
> 'Because she can still drive!'
>
>
> A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me
four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
> 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
> 'Twelve thirty.'
>
>
> Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
> A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous
young woman on his arm.
> A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really
doing great, aren't you?'
> Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.''
> The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be
careful.'
>
>
> One more. . .!
> A little old manshuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself
slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana
split.
> The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
> 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
 

[HarryWeezer]

I keep forgetting to read my notes which I stick in my pocket to remind me of stuff.

[TBB]

Could you repeat those???