Start the day with Rob

[RobMc]

A husband took his wife to a disco one saturday night.

There was a guy on the dance floor giving it large - breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.

The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.

Husband says: "Looks like he's still f@@king celebrating!!

 

 

Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella. Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella?" Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round I was f**king skint."
Barman says, "12 pints of anything costs about the same."
Bloke replies, "Skint's my dog."

Edited April 5 by RobMc

[KaptCrunch]

here some home fried whinner for you Rob 

A farmer returned home after his fortnightly trip to  the market, and on entering the house heard the sound of highly energetic love making coming from upstairs.

Fearing the worst and in a terrible rage , he grabbed his shotgun, and  rushed into the bedroom where he was met by the sight of his buxom wife stark naked in the arms of his equally naked farmhand.

Furious, the farmer ordered the terrified lad out of the house and into small potting shed.

Once inside, the farmer pushed the miscreant towards a work bench, and secured his exposed member in the vise, next to a old rusty hacksaw blade.

"Don't cut it off," pleaded the farmhand.

" I'm not going to," replied the farmer.

"You are. I'm going to set light to the shed ."    

2)

Building work on the new private VD clinic was upheld yesterday when builders had their tools stolen, and HNS  staff held a oneday strike to complain about the money being spent on private medicine.

To put it  briefly, workmen had their picks pocketed whilst patients had their  pox picketed.

 

Edited April 6 by KaptCrunch
curtursty of Mayfair Mag Rob