BigPapaDean

I am not sure if I should post this here but I have a lot of friends here that know me that I don't have on facebook! After thinking about it I decided to go ahead and let you all know what is happening in my little corner of the world. You see back about 2 yrs ago or more, my mind and memory isn't real good with the details, I had my electric turned off and was basically on the street as the house was just too cold to stay in during the day. Every morning I was up at sunrise and on my way. Now there were already health concerns cropping up even then. My lower legs were swelling to no end and my bp was a constant 180/120 and regardless what the Drs had me do it stayed there. Well when my power was turned off I was laying there feeling sorry for myself which in my shoes at the time was an easy course of action. After a couple days of laying there in bed and freezing my ass off I decided that this was for the birds! Well I got myself up and I took a tow back pack and loaded it up and hit the streets. Now so you know this was not an easy thing to do as my knees were and still are in terrible condition and have been for many years but because I had a family to support I didn't have the time nor the finances to have myself fixed up! Well after a bad marriage and a divorce which was agreed by both to just cut the strings and go our separate ways. Yet I was now without a family and living in a house that had only bad memories of the last 10 years and I had to decide how I was going to survive and not become just another number in the statistics game of the government! I went to the DSHS office and they put me on full medical and I was given $200 per month to survive on. I was ecstatic because before that I had no hope of survival. In the mean time I filed for disability and waited for their decision. Now lets get back to my legs. They were swollen like this foe nigh on 10 yrs and the most amazing thing happened when I got out of bed that day and packed up and walked the streets. The swelling completely disappeared. It was gone until the week I got my power turned on. When I walked the streets there were times I was hurting so bad I literally cried. Nights I couldn't sleep because I hurt from walking all day! After they took the x-rays for disability I realized why I hurt so bad! These x-rays showed I had deep grooves in my knee joints and it was obvious I had a problem. Yet all my family thought I was trying to pull a fast one on them and when I went to see them made some very bad comments without even asking me what my goal in life was at that time. They didn't realize I was there just to find out how to survive because some of them had to go the same road I was on at that time. Finally after a extremely difficult and hard road I finally received word from SSD that I was accepted for benefits I gotta tell you while I was happy about it I would have much rather been working. The details of how and why things went like they did I will not share here but the health problems while not forgotten were not completely unnoticed. You see after dealing with life on the street and being treated like less than a human it was easy to just sit back and take it easy for a while. But that has a way of catching up to you and making you have regrets about things in ways you wish you had never neglected. From marriage problems to children and health problems! I saw a form of a gambit of it all. I am not going to tell you no one knows because I know that is just a lie to hide behind and feel sorry for myself. Today when my daughter-in-law took that picture I realized this is another truthful moment of which the last few years I have had many of. This last 2 weeks have been horrible for me as my leg begin to burn like someone was sticking a "white-hot" prod into it. I was out of pain medicine and waiting for my medicare to finally kick in so I could finally get the help I sorely needed! Now after this long tedious painful journey from 3 yrs ago till now I can now see where I can finally be myself once again. It will take a lot of commitment on my part but will be worth it when you consider my grand baby lives with me! She gives me the will to live more than just sitting here! As you can see the picture portrays just exactly how I felt because as mean as it looks it feels when I am without meds to help!

They use to have this info on the old cod utility site! It had several hints there to improve this kind of thing! Some of which if you ask me may be questionable because they had more than just their people writing on there!

would it help if we were there? or should we go kick them in the arse?

djMot I totally agree with your assessment as I have been guilty of the same behavior as Texas! When you are a person that is so intense that you can't loose you are setting yourself up for other disappointments. Texas I believe you have seen the right path you need to travel down. I complain a whole lot about things but not for the reason you do or why others think I do. I am such an open honest person and I just want EVERYONE to play fair and right! Problem is not everyone who comes into the servers see's things from that point of view. It's been really hard for me to try and stay calm with my emotional problems but I am making great strides in that department! Yeah there are times I loose it too but I am changing to the better! Texas I commend you for recognizing the problem and turning over a new leaf but the truth is only time will tell if that is successful! I like playing with you as well as others because the game usually hops then! If I happen to even get close to the top 5 I am happy! I smile to myself and say you did a good job! See ya in the servers!

P!nk you're being stalked again sweetie! You need to not be so cool! Maybe be a little more bitchier or something like that!

Well it could be a bevy of things, but it probably is something fairly simple such as you need to run it in some compatibility mode or something. Or maybe even in as an administrator mode! Can you tell us what are the symptoms you see right before it does this? What do you see while it's doing this such as a blue or black screen? Give is a little more info and we have some pretty sharp peeps here that can probably help you with this challenge!

I offer my condolences Kitten!

Awesome pix ldoz!

This would be KING Rugger's decision so you may want to contact him!

Impressionnant travail Frenchi! Je tiens à vous félicitations pour un travail bien fait! Maintenant que vous êtes vraiment très collant d'être avec SOB tout le temps que vous avez besoin de partager!

The simplest way to say it is I am really hard on them! Very hard on them and what with me being a cutter its even worse! Oh yeah I forgot I need one that is about 10"-12" square or so!

All I know is they can't say it doesn't make their shit hard!

I am really jealous of you Hunter as well as very happy for you! I no longer can do what you are doing as I had to give it all up due to being handicapped! I can only imagine the thrill of the kill when he was in your sites! Enjoy and think of me while you are eating that tasty big boy!

I have absolutely wore my Steele Series mouse pad completely out! It literally is falling apart and I have had it for about 2 years or so! I would prefer to use an aluminum based one but when I begin looking for them they are virtually non-existent today! I would settle for a rubberize one but clothe seems to just wear out on me! Any ideas and suggestions would be much appreciated. If by the way anyone has a used one like this laying around I would love to put that thing to work! I am seriously looking now as it is completely wore out! Thank you for your responses!

Happy birthday!

Shamu djMot posted on this yesterday and yes it sounds like a mean bad boy! Or should I say BITCH?

MOT you did WHAT???? The calm and collected Mot that I have gotten to know? Really? I am just jaw dropped shocked! That's what I was going to say but now I just wanna saw WAY TO GO!!!!!! Next time kick her in the ass! Now that would be a harder kick!

happy birthday!

They actually believe what they wrote! Why are we letting these people breed? LOL!

They did this on the most glorious day ever.... MY BLOOMING BIRTHDAY!!!!! Happy Trafalgar Day to you! lol

And the sauce is coming!

There are exceptions to every rule SOB and we all know you are one big exception in this department!

Gimme the link! lol!!!

Back when I was asked to do this several years ago I was told to tell a little about myself. To me the problem with just a name drop is you don't know enough to tell if they are really wanting to be part of us. Just saying!