DEEJAYKEG

Something's gone seriously wrong somewhere, people... Only $90 donated this month? I don't think so... My May donation and many, many others have vanished... The fund is usually oversubscribed so what's happened??? DeeJay'

Get those tags up and sort the ****in' mic out! Welcome to the clan - kill you some more later... DeeJay'

Happy Birthday, SOB! Sorry it's a bit late in the day but only just found out... Hope you've enjoyed yourself on a special day and that you have many more in the future.

I saw something odd during last night's ftag session. A VC player had been frozen in the MARSH map and wasn't being thawed in a hurry. A weird noise made me look back to him and he mutated into a Marine before my eyes, the colour of the ice changing from red to blue. It made me wonder if this was supposed to happen and one could change sides at will (even when frozen) having been auto-assigned one at the start of the game? As the player was not a clan member but a visitor, I also wondered if he was running some sort of exploit to enable him to do this. If there's a disparity between the numbers of players on each team, the usual automatic adjustment takes place at the end of the round being played so is this something requiring the further attention of tech guru Rick?

Good one!

I've had the same thing happen here on rare occasions, Chile. I attributed it to Windows rather than the game. I had to restart the machine but, as a precaution, cleared out all the cache, temp files etc with a utility before restarting CoD WaW. This has usually happened after several hours of play.

I use TuneUp Utilities 2010 and hit "Turbo" mode before playing - this has a similar effect to the freebie already mentioned. Ping tends to be around 140-150ms from the UK.

FREEZETAG: Over the weekend, we experienced a problem when a player left the game and was not shown as disconnected but, instead, dead with a red skull on the team list. All of us were frozen and the round should have ended but did not. Some players on the team exited and rejoined to circumvent the impasse but that did no good - they were killed again at spawn and just lost their scores. As this was not a solitary instance of this, I wonder if there's a way that the server can be set to kick any player that has actually left but is still shown as in the game?? CUSTOM DM: On the Destroyed Village map, calling dogs is causing lag. Not as bad as it was with Broadcast but still bad enough to affect gameplay. Markoff said he'd let Rick know but I'm posting this so everyone knows it is known about and as a belt and braces so Rick is aware. Thanks in advance for any fixes.

(Maybe I am turning into the great dissenter...) I haven't had so much fun with or value out of a game as CoD5 so am not prepared to dismiss a game by the Treyarch team before we have even seen a f***in' trailer!

As a postscript, I invite anyone who would like to show their appreciation in a tangible way to buy a beer for returning service people, coming home from Afghanistan. The "BEER FOR THE BOYS" page is at http://www.216squadron.com/ - the home of one of the Royal Air Force squadrons that transport our men and women to/from the combat zone. PayPal is accepted via their donations page. If you wish to support ex-servicemen and women, longer term, please visit the Royal British Legion at http://www.britishlegion.org.uk/ (Edited to add:) Please also give your support to Help For Heroes! http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/

Ted, I am not qualified to judge this lady's motivations and make any sort of comment as to whether her fellow countrymen should or should not accept what she is saying. I'm a "foreigner" and it's your country, not mine. However, we also have a healthier regard towards our brave and loyal service people in the UK, these days. The warmth that is felt towards them is something that others with their own extreme agenda are seeking to exploit for political ends. I am in awe of the bravery and sacrifice that young people, barely older than my son, exhibit in hostile situations into which they have been placed by people who lack understanding and peddle falsehoods to the public. There are many of us who support our armed forces with a passion but not the politicians who send them to fight.

Welcome, Phantasm! Hope to see you on the battlefield...

How Sweet To Be An Idiot performed by Neil Innes...

SOB, above your post you'll find two explicit requests for "jungle" maps and one for "foliage" and that's among a minority that have responded so far. Judging by the increasing numbers of visitors, there is a widespread understanding that the Vietnam conflict was largely fought in jungle.

More jungle maps, certainly, please. It's a Vietnam mod, after all. Labob obviously knows how to put a map together - can he do jungle too? Heck, I may have a look at the Treyarch wiki myself...

Welcome, greener! See you on the battlefield...

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Wyoming when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.... Now give me back my dog.

As told by Dustin Hoffman...

Chile, Viper's a regular visitor to both Custom DM and freezetag servers and seems a sociable player who's fun to play with, though I have yet to get him with the bayonet... Viper, do keep visiting - see you on the battlefield!

You're not a Lancashire Cheese, then?

Welcome to the Idiots, Nutz! Hope to see you on the CoD5 servers - bring plenty of shells...

He shows her how to use a gun then pulls a stunt like that?! Very brave or very foolish... Loved the look of surprise!

Getting shot before you spot the opponent? Maybe you need to clean your monitor... This handy utility will take care of it for you: http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf

http://www.steelseries.com/int/products/audio/siberia-v2-full-usb/information Worked for me! If the onboard sound causes the problem, don't use it - buy a USB external soundcard... Others have found that simply plugging headphones in cures the problem. It is very common.

Very best wishes to all English men and women around the globe (and any others who venerate our country's patron saint)! Make sure you do something traditional today! Me? I'll have an English ale or several later!