Subject:Cardiovascular Questions and Answers Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise canprolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, andthat's it, don't waste them away on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying youcan extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Takea nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meatand eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What doesa cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothingmore than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Needgrain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafyvegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended dailyallowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad forme? A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruitsand vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world intothree categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer andwine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, sothat only leaves one thing, right?
My advice: Have a burger anda beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate mybody/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat,your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one,etc.
Q: What are some of theadvantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophyis: No Pain………Good!
Q: If I stop smoking, will Ilive longer?
A: Nope. Smoking is a sign ofindividual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stressyourself to death in record time.
Q:Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: You're notlistening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad foryou?
Q: What's the secret tohealthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a littlesoft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When youexercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you wanta bigger stomach.
I hope this columnhas cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about eating and exercising.