JohnnyDos

Hello there nosleep and welcome to the >XI< Forums.Have fun.We have a great bunch of people in here.

Happy Birthday LDOZ

OLIVE Happy Birthday

Welcome Derpy,I met you this morning.

Job at the FBI The FBI had an opening for an assassin . After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife..' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.' Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the fucking chair.' MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?" The kid said, "Well, you know, they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.'' *********** KIDS IN CHURCH 3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from E-mail. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Thought you might like to know. https://ca.shine.yahoo.com/video/13-totally-horrifying-facts-seafood-222409058.html

Won't be called for using your hands.LOL.I wonder how you give a head ball?

Here's a few

Lot of sadness I saw in there.Good post King.

You know what's funny SOB?NO BLOOD was shown.The old films were no where near as graphic as today.I didn't even see one scratch LOL.

Maybe they didn't show it in the UK.SOB.How about this one:

Mr.Vapourizer LOL In my back room.Happy now,I know I am Ha Ha Ha !

You tell me.

I also have the Sapphire Vapour X 7950 3GB,like SOB asked was it your installation of the latest drivers?If so I made a post about them SAT. or SUN.Everything is there,just do what it says.

I got my game from STEAM cause I couldn't get my hard copy to work on W7 when I switched over,but as far as W8.1I wouldn't know LOM.There is nothing wrong with STEAM.Every game I got from them runs fine.

I remember the shows more than the theme song SOB,only one I don't remember is The Range Rider.I know no more cowboys.Me and my pops would always watch westerns loved them.Our favorite was the Rifle Man:

Ask one of the >XI< ladies to go with you????

Ist pic with headset.Set as default then apply: 2nd pic for just your speakers set as default then apply: I have USB Logitech G35 and Realtek onboard soundcard.Right click on speaker icon like KaptCrunch said but I look at "PlayBack Devices" When you install your headset software(G35 anyways) you must have your headset unplugged from the port.After install plug it in of course.The mic should just be automatic.

Ah the days of real chrome and the fins.Awesome LOM.

One link for the new driver and one for the uninstall utility.Reboot after uninstall and then again after install.