HarryWeezer Posted July 23, 2012 Member ID: 20166 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 611 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 7654 Content Per Day: 1.97 Reputation: 7229 Achievement Points: 53674 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 36 Joined: 10/04/13 Status: Offline Last Seen: May 25 Birthday: 10/16/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted July 23, 2012 You're in the middle of some kind of project around the house, are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint in your work-around-the-house clothes: You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes. And you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age, you might do the following: In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register. In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy. In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog shit in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms!' In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog shit off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure. In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch. In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. In your 90's: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Why am I reading this? Who farted? Dark Asylumn, LtLaszlo, hxtr and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TheLastColdBeer Posted July 23, 2012 Member ID: 489 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 548 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 4674 Content Per Day: 0.87 Reputation: 5865 Achievement Points: 41116 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 14 Joined: 09/22/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 16 hours ago Birthday: 01/09/1963 Device: Kindle Fire Share Posted July 23, 2012 Oh thank you Harry, nothing like anticipation for the future (and not that far away). Gave me my morning chuckle, and I even remembered I'm on the way to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
BigPapaDean Posted July 23, 2012 Member ID: 1128 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 78 Topic Count: 1202 Topics Per Day: 0.23 Content Count: 6536 Content Per Day: 1.25 Reputation: 4423 Achievement Points: 63519 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 6 Joined: 02/13/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 12 hours ago Birthday: 10/21/1954 Device: Windows Share Posted July 23, 2012 You're in the middle of some kind of project around the house, are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint in your work-around-the-house clothes: You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes. And you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age, you might do the following: In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register. In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy. In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog shit in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms!' In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog shit off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure. In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch. In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. In your 90's: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Why am I reading this? Who farted? Lead the way Harry! Lol! I am not far behind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted July 23, 2012 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 271 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18272 Content Per Day: 3.48 Reputation: 20337 Achievement Points: 133894 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 273 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 48 minutes ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted July 23, 2012 Yup - been there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Sgt.Pepper Posted July 25, 2012 Member ID: 2919 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 2 Topic Count: 10 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 56 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 3 Achievement Points: 394 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/24/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 17, 2018 Birthday: 02/15/1993 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Brilliant. Nuff said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hxtr Posted July 26, 2012 Member ID: 220 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 147 Topic Count: 595 Topics Per Day: 0.11 Content Count: 16950 Content Per Day: 3.15 Reputation: 13538 Achievement Points: 129714 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 120 Joined: 09/04/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 26, 2023 Birthday: 04/05/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted July 26, 2012 ummm according to this I am already in my 60's? BigPapaDean 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts