Sometimes crap happens even when you try to avoid it!

[BigPapaDean]

I am not sure if I should post this here but I have a lot of friends here that know me that I don't have on facebook! After thinking about it I decided to go ahead and let you all know what is happening in my little corner of the world. You see back about 2 yrs ago or more, my mind and memory isn't real good with the details, I had my electric turned off and was basically on the street as the house was just too cold to stay in during the day. Every morning I was up at sunrise and on my way. Now there were already health concerns cropping up even then. My lower legs were swelling to no end and my bp was a constant 180/120 and regardless what the Drs had me do it stayed there. Well when my power was turned off I was laying there feeling sorry for myself which in my shoes at the time was an easy course of action. After a couple days of laying there in bed and freezing my ass off I decided that this was for the birds! Well I got myself up and I took a tow back pack and loaded it up and hit the streets. Now so you know this was not an easy thing to do as my knees were and still are in terrible condition and have been for many years but because I had a family to support I didn't have the time nor the finances to have myself fixed up! Well after a bad marriage and a divorce which was agreed by both to just cut the strings and go our separate ways. Yet I was now without a family and living in a house that had only bad memories of the last 10 years and I had to decide how I was going to survive and not become just another number in the statistics game of the government! I went to the DSHS office and they put me on full medical and I was given $200 per month to survive on. I was ecstatic because before that I had no hope of survival. In the mean time I filed for disability and waited for their decision. Now lets get back to my legs. They were swollen like this foe nigh on 10 yrs and the most amazing thing happened when I got out of bed that day and packed up and walked the streets. The swelling completely disappeared. It was gone until the week I got my power turned on. When I walked the streets there were times I was hurting so bad I literally cried. Nights I couldn't sleep because I hurt from walking all day! After they took the x-rays for disability I realized why I hurt so bad! These x-rays showed I had deep grooves in my knee joints and it was obvious I had a problem. Yet all my family thought I was trying to pull a fast one on them and when I went to see them made some very bad comments without even asking me what my goal in life was at that time. They didn't realize I was there just to find out how to survive because some of them had to go the same road I was on at that time. Finally after a extremely difficult and hard road I finally received word from SSD that I was accepted for benefits  I gotta tell you while I was happy about it I would have much rather been working. The details of how and why things went like they did I will not share here but the health problems while not forgotten were not completely unnoticed. You see after dealing with life on the street and being treated like less than a human it was easy to just sit back and take it easy for a while. But that has a way of catching up to you and making you have regrets about things in ways you wish you had never neglected. From marriage problems to children and health problems! I saw a form of a gambit of it all. I am not going to tell you no one knows because I know that is just a lie to hide behind and feel sorry for myself. Today when my daughter-in-law took that picture I realized this is another truthful moment of which the last few years I have had many of. This last 2 weeks have been horrible for me as my leg begin to burn like someone was sticking a "white-hot" prod into it. I was out of pain medicine and waiting for my medicare to finally kick in so I could finally get the help I sorely needed! Now after this long tedious painful journey from 3 yrs ago till now I can now see where I can finally be myself once again. It will take a lot of commitment on my part but will be worth it when you consider my grand baby lives with me! She gives me the will to live more than just sitting here! As you can see the picture portrays just exactly how I felt because as mean as it looks it feels when I am without meds to help! 

[djMot]

Quite a story, Dean.  Stay strong.  I'm so glad you're being looked after now.

[little_old_man]

Life has a way of being really fucked sometimes Dean. It sounds like you've had your fair share of the short end of the stick.

 

Things have a way of turning around when you least expect it to happen. Just live your life the best you can with the hand you've been dealt, and always fight to make whatever situation you're in better.

[ANVIL]

god bless dean no man walks alone or papa

[Giggles]

my dear friend you know you will always be in my prayers and I love ya  ...Keep the faith my friend!!!