HarryWeezer Posted February 13, 2014 Member ID: 20166 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 611 Topics Per Day: 0.14 Content Count: 7655 Content Per Day: 1.81 Reputation: 7232 Achievement Points: 53682 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 36 Joined: 10/04/13 Status: Offline Last Seen: March 26 Birthday: 10/16/1946 Device: Windows Posted February 13, 2014 The governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor's dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases. The governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals. The governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. The governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re the nature of coyotes. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state. As it happens, the same thing occurs in Texas: the governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail when a coyote jumps out and attacks his dog. The governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The governor has spent 50 cents on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. The buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that is why Illinois is broke, and Texas is not. eidolonFIRE, Hemps, Damage_inc- and 4 others 7 Awards
little_old_man Posted February 13, 2014 Member ID: 1194 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 40 Topic Count: 436 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 6692 Content Per Day: 1.21 Reputation: 11691 Achievement Points: 53094 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 76 Joined: 02/27/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 16, 2023 Birthday: 04/15/1960 Posted February 13, 2014 Yeah but California already spent 8 million to relocate that coyote to Illinois. Then they heard from the vet who treated it in Illinois that it was possibly homosexual, so they spent another 5 million to get it back and released it in a park that would eventually be named for the animal in San Francisco. Hemps and eidolonFIRE 2 Awards
Burt(XI) Posted February 15, 2014 Member ID: 478 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 22 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 302 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 249 Achievement Points: 2309 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/21/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Sunday at 05:22 PM Birthday: 07/26/1952 Device: Windows Posted February 15, 2014 Harry, you forgot to mention Obama. He's in this somewhere. Awards
Damage_inc- Posted February 15, 2014 Member ID: 2048 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 294 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 6689 Content Per Day: 1.27 Reputation: 4709 Achievement Points: 48999 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/15/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 05/30/1967 Posted February 15, 2014 the great state of our president!with more ex politicians in prison then most others ,what does tell you? Hemps 1 Awards
Hemps Posted February 15, 2014 Member ID: 1482 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 37 Topic Count: 120 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2018 Content Per Day: 0.37 Reputation: 1440 Achievement Points: 15303 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/05/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 3, 2024 Birthday: 07/13/1967 Device: Windows Posted February 15, 2014 the great state of our president!with more ex politicians in prison then most others ,what does tell you? yep! here in Illinois the governors actually make the licence plates! Scoarch 1 Awards
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