What may be Robs last jokes

[RobMc]

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman.. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.

Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.'

Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank, he died and I married his frickin wife.'

 

 

 I thought my new girlfriend might be "the one" but after looking thru her knicker drawer and finding a nurses outfit ,a French maids outfit and a policewomans uniform I've dumped her. She obviously can't hold down a f@@king job !

I asked 100 women at the Leisure Centre what shampoo they used whilst showering? 95% replied " what the f@@k are you doing in here? !"

 

[Essssieeee]

Stop leaving us rob 

[RobMc]

20 minutes ago, Essssieeee said:

Stop leaving us rob 

Oh my lovely, were it not for that man in the green dress I would never have left you, I hope Bio appreciates that?

[KaptCrunch]

Rob hows the home front, is all well?  not in hospital  or round room   really  how are you mate 

[Dot80]

Love you Rob.

[RobMc]

6 hours ago, KaptCrunch said:

Rob hows the home front, is all well?  not in hospital  or round room   really  how are you mate 

No still alive and well (fairly) good to see you're mostly all good too, but like any sensible old man I'm making preparations.

Just today I told my family to scatter my ashes in front of the fridge

[KaptCrunch]

the beer fridge LoL 

pretty much same here but Gov trying to eliminate me. 

Edited August 10 by KaptCrunch