The candidates are questioned in a room where, unknown to them, a truth gas is being released so that they cannot lie...
Q: Mr. Trump, you won handily in Nevada last night, your third successive victory. How do you explain your amazing appeal?
A: Hey, they want bullshit and so that's what I give them.
Q: But you continue to contradict yourself on various issues.
A: They don't care. Most of them are too stupid to care. Look, they're pissed off. So all I gotta do is pretend I'm pissed too. It works.
Q: Buy you're a billionaire. What do you want to be president?
A: So I can be a trillionaire. I'm going to milk it for all it's worth. Every president comes out of office a millionaire. I'm going to put them all to shame.
Q: Sen. Rubio, you came in second last night but Mr. Trump has such a commanding lead, how can you hope to catch him?
A: I don't hope to catch him. There's no way I'm going to catch him. I'm still in it because it's not my money I'm spending and he might get hit by a truck.
Q: Mr. Cruz, at least Sen. Rubio is being honest. How about you?
A: I'm hoping Trump not only gets hit by a truck, but that they find a young boy in Rubio's closet.
Q: Dr. Carson, you haven't got a snowball's chance in hell. Why are you still here?
A: I'm going to be the nation's first black vice president. Trump will put me on the ticket just to get me off his back. Yewehaw.
Q: OK, and now to the Democrats. Mrs. Clinton, it looks like you're going to defeat Sen. Numbnuts, oops, I mean Sen. Sanders, for the nomination. But you've never said why it is you so desperately want to be president.
A: To keep my fat ass out of jail dickhead. When I'm president I'll shut down the FBI before the bastards indict me for scamming hundreds of millions from foreign powers while I was secretary of state.
Q: But what if they indict you first?
A: I'll tell them that cuthound Bill did it.
Q: And Sen. Numb... er. Sanders, Mrs. Clinton has all of the super delegates locked up because of the crooked delegate system that the Democrats run. You can't win. So why are you still on the campaign trail?
A: Because it beats being home. Have you seen my wife?