MTNMAN52

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare,“It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He then addressed the men. “Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?” Frank leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose,isn't it?” And thus began Frank's life of celibacy.

WOW http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=QZXYOo_qk2E

Funny http://www.flixxy.com/the-paperless-future-emma.htm#.UT6BwRk1us0

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists? A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening". The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I went back to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back. At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!! One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. I t appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer either. There's a new Muslim clothing shop in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets. You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools. Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard. A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache." The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

WOW!!!!! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/07/wake-up-pranks-compilation_n_2828258.html?1362668652&icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D281439

Welcome Aboard.....

As a bagpiper, I've played many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.” Apparently, I’m still lost… It’s a man thing.

I just did it too....Last time i got it cut or shaved was last october....lol. My wife has been after me for a long time......

Good Stuff

Presentation is the key

Thanks Guys

HAPPY WINTER EVERYONE!

GAME LOOKS GOOD...i NEVER HEARD OF IT...

I was going through some old pictures the other day and I found this one. I can't believe how young my mom was. I can't believe how young my mom was.

Happy B Day LaBob

Happy Birthday Hogan..Hope u Had a Great Day

Happy B Day...Cheers...Snafu

Gotta love those grandkids. I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Grandson and he asked, "What day is tomorrow?" . I said "It's President's Day!" . He's smart, so I asked "What does President's Day mean?" . I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, etc. He replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Shit." You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

Many people cannot decide which is cheaper - purchasing or leasing.. We'd like to help you decide by illustrating two charming stories of Foolish men and cunning women. Purchasing The math’s on the Paul McCartney - Heather Mills divorce was as follows: After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he had sex with her every night during their 5 year relationship It ended up with him purchasing her @ $26,849 per time. Leasing On the other hand, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker, Kristen, Charged $4,000 per night. So, had Paul McCartney "employed" Kristen for 5 years @ $4,000 per night, He would have paid only $7.3 million in total for sex every night. This represents a $41..7 million savings. What a shrewd man Eliot is, compared to the ageing Beatle. Further valuable benefits of this Leasing option are; * a (real) 22 year old * no need for coaxing / pleading / begging * never a headache happily agrees to all requests * no complaining * no “Honey - please do this” lists * has two legs Best of all, she leaves and returns when asked. All at 1/7th the cost and no legal fees. Sometimes Leasing just makes more sense. THE OLD ADAGE STILL HOLDS TRUE..... IF IT FLYS, FUCKS, OR FLOATS............. RENT IT!

I'm reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help. His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection. When he came back he handed her some diet pills. Anyway, he's looking for a place to live. Can you help?

Yea i guess i"m a Gun Nut Too.....lol