TBB

Only if you pint it at @AyaqGuyaq when he is at your front door!!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

Hang in there Mule - you're Fugly and an >IDIOT< - after that everything is uphill

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!!

Welcome to the forums

CONGRATS!!!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO!! Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. Well, I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Belles dents mon cul - mords-moi

A penguin was driving through Vegas when suddenly his car stopped working so he had it towed to the nearest mechanic. When he got there the mechanic told him it could take an hour or two to find out what is wrong with his car. The penguin was getting hot so he asked the mechanic where he could cool down. The mechanic reply "there is an ice cream parlor a few blocks up the street" so the penguin thanked him and waddled up to the parlor. When he got there he ordered the biggest cup of vanilla ice cream they had. After awhile of enjoying his ice cream he started to head back to the mechanic. When he got back the mechanic said "Hey it looks like you blew a seal" then the penguin shouted "No no! It's just vanilla ice cream!" A penguin walks into a pharmacy and asks to buy a condom. The pharmacist asks, "should I put that on your bill"? The penguin says, "I'm not that kind of penguin". A man stumbles into a bar. The bartender asks the man what's wrong. The man simply asks "How tall is a penguin?" The bartender thinks for a minute, and says "About four feet." The man buries his head in his hands and says "Shit, I just ran over a nun". A penguin walks into a pharmacy and asks to buy a condom. The pharmacist asks, "should I put that on your bill"? The penguin says, "I'm not that kind of penguin". One day a Cop pulls a van over and when he walks up to the window he sees ten penguins in the back. The cop asks the man "are those your penguins?" The man Says "yes, they are my pets." The cop replies to the man "You need to take them to the zoo right now." So the man agrees and drives off. The next day the cop pulls over the same van and he walks up to the window and sees the ten pengins all wearing sunglasses. The cop says to the man "I thought i told you to take those penguins to the zoo." The man says "I did, today we are going to the beach!"

Finally - your looks are improving!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!!

Welcome to the Forums - enjoy

Have a GREAT birthday!!!

Nice pics - but could use more pics of the Rye

Sensei? Sensei?? Sensei who???

They're not smart enough to be morons

It's a day later and I'm still laughing at this joke - sent it to many people - damn - funny!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

LMAO - thanks

Funny - that's not what she said