The Older Crowd

[DEEJAYKEG]

THE OLDER CROWD

A distraught senior citizen

Phoned her doctor's office.

'Is it true,' she wanted to know,

'that the medication

You prescribed has to be taken

For the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence

Before the senior lady replied,

I'm wondering, then,

Just how serious is my condition

Because this prescription is marked

'NO REFILLS'.'

 

*********************** 

An older gentleman was

On the operating table

Awaiting surgery

And he insisted that his son,

A renowned surgeon,

Perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,

He asked to speak to his son

'Yes, Dad, what is it? '

'Don't be nervous, son;

Do your best

And just remember,

If it doesn't go well,

If something happens to me,

Your mother

Is going to come and

Live with you and your wife....'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Aging: 

Eventually you will reach a point

When you stop lying about your age

And start bragging about it. This is so true.  I love

to hear them say "you don't look that old."

---------------------------------

The older we get,

The fewer things

Seem worth waiting inline for.

---------------------------------

 

Some people

Try to turn back their odometers.

Not me!

I want people to know 'why'

I look this way.

I've traveled a long way

And some of the roads weren't paved.

********************

 

When you are dissatisfied

And would like to go back to youth,

Think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You know you are getting old when

Everything either dries up or leaks.

-------------------------------

 

One of the many things

No one tells you about aging

Is that it is such a nice change

From being young.

 

Ah, being young is beautiful,

But being old is comfortable.

 

First you forget names,

Then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when

You forget to pull it down.

--------------------------------- 

Long ago

When men cursed

And beat the ground withsticks,

It was calledwitchcraft...

Today, it's called golf. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Two  guys one oldone young

Are pushing their cartsaround Wal-Mart 

When they collide.

The old guy says to theyoung guy,

'Sorry about that.. I'mlooking for my wife,

And I guess I wasn'tpaying attention

   To where Iwas going.

The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.

I'm looking for my wife,too...'

I can't find her and I'mgetting a little desperate'

The old guy says, 'Well,

Maybe I can help youfind her...

What does she looklike?'

' The young guy says,

'Well, she is 27 yrsold, tall,

With red hair,

Blue eyes, isbuxom, wearing no bra,

Long legs,

And is wearing shortshorts.

What does your wife looklike?'

To which the first oldguy says, 'Doesn't matter,

--- let's look foryours.'

[JohnnyDos]

DeeJay good ones I like this line  'Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours.'  LOL