DEEJAYKEG Posted January 11, 2013 Member ID: 1238 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1207 Topics Per Day: 0.23 Content Count: 6083 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 4984 Achievement Points: 50727 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 03/12/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 11 Device: Kindle Fire Share Posted January 11, 2013 Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember .. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast?' An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'Whats the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!' A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' One more. . .! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' Blackbart, little_old_man and HellKid 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Magnus_1 Posted January 11, 2013 Member ID: 1410 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 39 Topic Count: 24 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 522 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 451 Achievement Points: 3585 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/12/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: May 23 Birthday: 05/08/1953 Device: Windows Share Posted January 11, 2013 Great stuff ! Thanks.....what's your name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TBB Posted January 11, 2013 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 272 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18312 Content Per Day: 3.48 Reputation: 20377 Achievement Points: 134172 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 274 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 10 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 11, 2013 Fantastic - what was the joke again??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Dogg Posted January 11, 2013 Member ID: 3781 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 132 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 204 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 622 Achievement Points: 2970 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/09/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: May 15 Birthday: 02/12/1954 Device: Windows Share Posted January 11, 2013 I resemble that!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
DEEJAYKEG Posted January 11, 2013 Member ID: 1238 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1207 Topics Per Day: 0.23 Content Count: 6083 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 4984 Achievement Points: 50727 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 11 Joined: 03/12/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: April 11 Device: Kindle Fire Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Fantastic - what was the joke again??? What joke? I've made your toast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
baldie Posted January 11, 2013 Member ID: 607 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 75 Topic Count: 244 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 3347 Content Per Day: 0.63 Reputation: 2645 Achievement Points: 33859 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/21/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 14 hours ago Birthday: 09/16/1966 Device: Windows Share Posted January 11, 2013 Rolf nice ?????????? mmmmmmm oh yes great Bannana's or was it Bacon and toast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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