I'll soon be yours

[RobMc]

Erasumus Shuttlecock opened his eyes slowly and grudgingly, he didn’t want the dream to go away. Last night he had wiped the floor with Pink, P3nhead, Fry,Sharpe and all the other wannabe great players in COD4. He was now the greatest player Ftag had ever seen. This completed the set, he’d already headed the field in COD2 and WAW, surely now they would bestow on him the ultimate honour, to join the clan and eventually oust the Seniors and reign supreme in the world of gaming.
After all he was a young 47, still living with mam and dad, but with years of gaming ahead of him, to which his life was dedicated. Occasionally he longed for a girlfriend you didn’t have to inflate, but hey ho, every great player makes sacrifices don’t they? Besides which he knew she loved him judging by the squeaks and hisses when he kissed her.
The only drawback was that he knew everyone hated him, even more than that Robmc, and boy was he hated. That was the problem, you had to get asked and no one would talk to him, they all faked stealth mode now when he played. The man who had asked Robmc all those years ago had been punished by wandering around in limbo, looking for someone to play with, R.I.P. Beers. No one would risk asking him to join, they’d be fed to Piglo in an instant, a fate worse than playing all morning with MajBasil, they wouldn’t risk that?
He could join Essssieeee, Dot and Bio on their Ftag server, but he knew what happened to those getting close to Essssieeee by Rob, no on second thoughts MajBasil would be a preferable fate.
So how to do it?? And then he had a thought?? How about if I married into the Clan?? Brilliant, couldn’t refuse me then, might even make some tiny idiots for Piglo to feed on.
He looked through the members section, picturing the wedding already, surrounded by gamers, headsets on and frantic with energy, wait until she saw his joystick, it was a done deal. They could honeymoon at the next conference, now who should he choose?? Better start at the top he thought :-
Gatorgirl, risky?, I’d have to contend with her Texan cowboy bodyguard, armed to the teeth
WldPenguin, possible, but too much competition in game, sexy voice distracting
Sally, a definite probable love her ftag server, would mean changes in my gaming
Ausigirl, too far away to return to Mam and Dad if things went ‘tit’s up’.
CrazyGirl, the name puts me off
AthenaA, Lovely lady but I don’t speak French, already has loads of kids
Essssieeee?, no chance of getting between Rob and Bio, they’d destroy me with prose or germs
Moving down to members it hit me like a SledgeHammer, how did I miss her, the perfect woman for me. ICEQUEEN, it ‘s so obvious, a quiet homely girl, not wild like the others, demure, quiet and deadly with a ‘weapon’, especially the larger ones. I’ll PM her a.s.a.p. with my proposal, how could she resist? I’ll let you know who’s invited to the wedding.
Soon I’ll be an Idiot, just like all my friends
 

[KaptCrunch]

Rob were is CoD5 digs, guess not to mess with best eah   LoL