Leaderboard

Today is my birthday:) Got nothing much to say lol

XtremeIdiots would like to wish all members celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. Janey --ChknFngr (50)diggydoc42 --Kill (53)Sollisnexus (31)

Well as a man who also has little to say, Happy Birthday, I'm Rob, I have birthdays too, problem is there are too many of them. Why are you self named Sgt Fish?? tell Rob the story, do you have strong odours?? scaly skin? bulging eyes??, never fear Rob can fix them all. Pop round to my place for a bit of bait, I'll fix us up some tasty Sushi with a worm side dish. Afterwards you can have a lie down on a nice marble slab in my garage and while you sleep I'll make you perfect, filleted to perfection, scales removed, do you take ice with your water?? try it you'll love it.

what about table wine 12%

Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit. Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant. Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker. Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him. Dave: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living? Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession. Dave: - Oh? What's that then? Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home? Dave: - Er ... mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens! Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it? Dave: - It's in a pond! Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then? Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden. Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house? Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house .... built it myself! Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? And with a family? Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children. Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis? Dave: - Yep! Five times a week! Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often? Dave: - Do what? Not me, mate! Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work! Dave: - How's that then? Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life! Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive. Thanks mate! Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate. Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does? Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist! Stuart: - What's that then? Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish? Stuart: - Nope. Dave: - Well then, you're a :wanker:.

https://store.steampowered.com/