little_old_man

Take her to the local pound and have her checked for a chip. It's funny nobody is looking for her, especially if she recently had puppies. Hopefully she didn't have them out in the woods near your house and they're still out there.

Looks like you had a blast jon. That smoked trout is making me hungry.

Way to go numnutz. Now go out there and make us proud.

My condolences BB. After recently losing my best friend I feel your pain.

A cod5 admin will be with your soon so please be patient. Do you know why you were banned? You don't say anything about why you were banned or offer an explanation.

I was in a tattoo parlor once and this drunk blonde came stumbling out bragging about her new tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. She said if you put your ear up to it you can smell the ocean. Ladies of XI, I am truly sorry you had to read that.

Give her our best tsw, and tell her she has a bunch of idiots sending good thoughts her way.

Kami isn't just a post whore, he is our resident "Old French Whore".

Who are you ?

Where are these guys incarcerated at? I'd like to read up on these pieces of shit.

You probably dropped a beer or your water bong on your keyboard again.

Here's the smallmouth we catch in northern California.

The easiest way to tell is when the mouth is closed, the corner of the mouth should not extend beyond the eye. On a largemouth, the corner extends past the eye. I can see very slight verticle lines on the body but I've seen that on largemouth too. Like I said, either way it's a nice fish. Dawgy probably paid some little kid $5 that caught it on a Fischer Price rod and reel with a worm and bobber.

Not to question your ability to identify fish, but I think the reason that smallie is so big is because it's a biggie (largemouth bass). The color, mouth and size just don't look like any smallmouths I've ever seen. Either way, damn nice fish.

Happy birthday Greg. You finally hit 21, congrats!

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' ... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started..... _____________________________ My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started... ________________________________ When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. _____________________________ My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started... ________________________________ Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's how the fight started... _______________________________ My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started...... ______________________________ After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.' And then the fight started... ________________________________ My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started........ ________________________________ I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?' That's how the fight started. ________________________________ One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started.

Sorry to break it to you Loader, that's not your Tiger tickling your leg, it's a hemorrhoid.

Sorry GG, didn't mean to paint all wives with such a broad brush, just 99.9% of them.

Congratulations and may it last forever. Don't forget that big smile on her face as she walks down the isle toward you is because she knows she'll never have to give you another blow job. Don't worry, you'll get used to it.

it's a lot easier to take a torch and just burn it off. Ask any dairy farmer.

Some of those meds can be a real ass kicker, although I hope I'm doing it to you instead of the meds. Take care of yourself and get better. I miss listening to you whine when I kill you. LOM

That was FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!

Keep dreaming PinLo. Apple keeps making the cool-aid and you keep drinking it. This woman might not agree with you. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/jul/16/apple-vows-investigate-after-woman-killed-iphone-s/ Apple vows to investigate after woman killed by iPhone shock A 23-year-old Chinese woman was shocked to death while answering a telephone call on her iPhone while it was charging. The woman owned an iPhone5, Reuters reported. Apple reportedly is investigating the incident. Bloomberg reported that Ma Ailun, 23, who worked as a flight attendant for China Southern Airlines, was exiting her bath when the phone rang. The woman’s sister said on Twitter that Miss Ma — who was due to be married in August — fell to the floor right after answering the phone. “We will fully investigate and cooperate with authorities in this matter,” Apple said in a statement to Reuters. And to Bloomberg, the a spokesperson with Apple China said: “We are deeply saddened to learn of this tragic incident and offer our condolences to the Ma family.” Apple did not clarify whether other similar cases of shock have been reported with its phones. Iphone design stolen from Sony http://9to5mac.com/2012/07/26/samsung-says-apple-stole-iphone-design-from-sony/ Apple Pays $21 mllion for stolen clock design http://www.geekologie.com/2012/11/apple-pays-21-million-for-stolen-clock-d.php Apple stole Ipad design from Samsung http://bgr.com/2012/08/15/apple-samsung-patent-lawsuit-ipad-design/ Former Head Apple designer claims that Steve Jobs stole his ideas and took the credit http://news.cnet.com/8301-13579_3-20124720-37/jonathan-ive-steve-jobs-stole-my-ideas/

Sounds like bool fucking shit to me.

Well, it's not Bigfoot but I did get a picture of a cook at a BBQ restaurant with a big pan of cooked chicken breasts sitting on top of a filthy garbage can. To make matters worse, he was cleaning the grill and pulling the grill crud on top of the cooked chicken. That must be their secret ingredient. This is a place that I "used" to eat at frequently. I posted a Yelp review with the picture and getting dozens of responses, including from the owner of the place.