DEEJAYKEG

Yeah, some of the people you shot were revived... Congrats on the gold tags - I'll get them off your bleeding neck soon!

Just got to this, buddy - relieved that matters are now normalising. Best wishes to you and Pappy Hxtr. True what you say about water, though. I always have beer in the fridge upstairs but next to my computer desk I have packs of water! One of my major worries in work was when one of my officers went down with a kidney stone at 2am and we were working in a foreign country! I had to interpret between him and the paramedic before they took him off to hospital. I now know that the French word for a "stone" as in kidney stone is NOT "pierre" but "calcul"! Once that little swine of a stone made its way out, he was much better.

Happy Birthday, Mate!

I'm not going to watch this. Why? Well, I question why it was posted. We all know there are stupid people in this world - we need no reminders. Will we be entertained by the footage? Given its description, that I doubt! Do we need to be shocked? Personally, I lack that need and thank God for that. Do we need to be sickened? Is a forum on this website appropriate to satisfy that need? I suggest it is not. If what is described occurred, did the poster even email the local police department to share his revulsion with them so that proper investigation could be commenced? For pity's sake, THINK before you post...

The man who rendered the younger members of the family obsolete... Or, the man who invented "channel surfing"? Just waiting for the man who invents a true one-remote-for-all-devices solution!

If I can't laugh at any comments, I just ignore them. I appreciate that not everyone cares for my invented "games within games" but they add pleasure... Why shoot when you can knife or explode? In an aircraft, why use a heat-seeker when you can ram? If there are snipers in the game, why hunt any other class of player?? And, if you shoot me in the back as I chase along with my C4 in the hand, good for you (but watch your back!)... I am not a noob - I choose to play this way!

On a scale of 1 to 10, my interest in this share sale as with all others is zero. It is just gambling by another name. Thatcher wanted us all to become share-holding home-owners; in itself that is the best recommendation to keep renting and ignore the greed-fests!

I like this one as it sounds like my load-out for Battlefield 3...

Welcome!

The groom is led, blindfolded, to the bachelor party venue where he is told he is going to undertake a fifty-foot bungee jump. He is completely unaware that his "leap of faith" will be three feet into a muddy pond! http://youtu.be/m7oCrF3ktP4

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And, most importantly, Cech!

Chelsea FC are Champions of Europe having beaten Bayern Munich 4-3 on penalties at the end of extra time with the score tied at 1-1. Though not a supporter of this club, I am English so took much pleasure from seeing an English side beat a German one in a penalty shoot-out! (The reverse is usually true!) I do like Harry J and the Allstars' "Liquidator" that is played at every Chelsea home match - it was a hit when I was in secondary school!

I was sickened to learn about this despicable crime earlier today. When the scum that did this are caught (they are not that bright as the area is covered by CCTV cameras, I gather), they, together with any bent scrap metal dealer involved should be locked up! No police cautions, final warnings or slaps on the wrist - charge them and put them before a magistrate. Then, up the steps to crown court for sentence and a couple of years inside minimum! I'm sure there are people in the prison system who do not share the low-lifes' contempt for the memories of two young lads brutally blown up whilst shopping for Mothers' Day cards by the IRA! That should ensure a "deterrent effect" is administered! I have a similar feeling towards those who damage war memorials and graves. Lock the ****ers up! Time for magistrates and judges to get tough! For overseas readers who do not know the background to this tragic story, here's the Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warrington_bomb_attacks

Welcome!

Great personalised plate! We can't do anything like that here as the plate has to conform to the legal standards. The best is either initials or a combination of letters and numbers that resemble a word e.g. MAG 1 C owned by TV and stage magician Paul Daniels. Sad to read that your health is limiting your activity. Don't overdo things, mate. If you manage to get into a game sometime, I'd be delighted to see you there. Take care.

Filmed off Florida... What a surprise!

Comrades, I am becoming concerned about the commitment of some troops when playing on the Conquest 64 server... Please note, that, under no circumstances during a battle to secure an objective are tank crews permitted to take their vehicle swimming. There will be time to celebrate with vodka, wild Siberian girls and swimming once the evil imperialist American forces are vanquished! I caught this T90 doing the backstroke after an impressive backward flip from the bridge ramparts tonight. This is not the Olympics, soldiers - this is war. Appropriate disciplinary measures will follow for the guilty crew who are advised to report to Kommissar Damitov. That is all.

1970s disco singer Donna Summer has passed away today, aged 63, after battling cancer, it has been reported. I reckon I bought most if not all of her singles and this is sad news indeed.

OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPAS FEEL WARM & FUZZY A six year-old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room ..."Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said her Grandpa. "Make a noise like a frog - because Grandma said that, as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disney Land !!!

First personal computer: Sinclair Spectrum + 48K (c.1984). I went online with that in 1985 using a VTX5000 modem (1200/75 - that's 1200bps download and 75bps upload) using mainly the Prestel and Micronet dial-up services. Then I graduated to a manually operated 300/300bps modem and began accessing bulletin boards. My first PC was bought with a view to hosting a BBS - an Amstrad PC3286 (80286 processor, 1MB RAM and 20MB hard drive). The Voice BBS went online in 1992 and ran for about six years as part of Fidonet and other networks using an Amstrad V22bis (2400/2400) modem. (Why "The Voice"? is why...) I have also owned Atari ST and Sony MSX machines and, for geeky interests' sake, ZX81s and an Acorn Atom.

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). 7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. 12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. 15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. 17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. 18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. 19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

My wife took some stuff into the local charity shop run by Age UK - they look after the older members of our society. "Well, we'll need them, one day!", she explained. I had to point out to her that we were already within their possible "customer base"!

...again! Welcome back!