3rdCdnInfty

A guy stops to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. His friend says, "My feet are cold. Would you get me my sneakers for me?" The guy goes upstairs, and there are his friend's two 21 year old gorgeous daughters. He says, "Hi, girls. Your dad sent me up here to fuck you." The first daughter says, "That's not true." He says, "I'll prove it." He yells down the stairs, "Both of them?" His friend yells back, "Of course, both of them."

GorillaXI bahaha, omg I would like to see what happens next

chris4874 you missed one "that sure smelt better going down" lol haha

Hahaha omg that's nasty, "Switch sides" hahaha

I know this poem well, we have to learn it in school when were kids and it does not only represent just one country or army but for any man or woman who servers in there army, this weekend I remeber all my family memebers who have fought in wars before and even tho I am Canadian, my grandfather was born in the U.S and my great unlcle died in France during WW2, so I offer my thanks to any man or woman who serves in any branch of the military.

GorillaXI lmao haha

One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice. Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?" "Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?" 2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before." 5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!" 6. Say "Darn, this water is cold." 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly. 8. Say, "Now how did that get there?" 9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus." 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!" 11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters. 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?" 13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!" 14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot" 15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?" 16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. 17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. 18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!" 19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free" 20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

lmfao haha good ones

Happy Birthday, hope you have a good one

lol haha, welcome to the forums

thats shitty man, see you soon

Chile you are one fucked up bastard but god you make me laugh, don't ever change

Congrats man, you really deserve it

yeah, damn man, sorry to hear that happen, I hope you get back on your feet soon

Welcome to the forums, this is a great place and we always welcome new people and glad to see you heading off to university, what do you plan to major in?

haha nasty, I would tell him, put down the cheeseburgers man haha

haha rain eh lol, come on, you in soutern Italy, enjoy sun, beer and the girls

omg is that real?, hahah

Hell yeah! brother, thats one of a kind right there I say and my god she is still single, sweet jesus its me lucky day

lmfao haha, nothing better then to ride a good ass

hahaha

lol haha, thats funny

Good job

awesome to hear another COD 5 trny