His name was Mean Dean, the slicing machine,
And he loved to make full-grown men cry.
He'd stick 'em and stab 'em and cut off their balls,
And boast what a bad ass am I.
He had quite a rep and you always could tell,
When bad-ass Mean Dean was around.
They'd cuss him and bitch about losing their nuts,
And complain to the admin they found.
But the day finally came when Mean Dean got put down,
But not by some meaner old fart.
No, a sweet little girl with a smile and a kiss,
Finally melted Mean Dean's crusty heart.
Those days are behind me Mean Dean had to say,
so loud that all clansmen could hear.
I will never again be referred to as mean,
I'm now Poppa Dean, have no fear.
For now I'll be kind when I sharpen my blade,
And finish it off with a lick.
I'm no longer mean, I'm now Poppa Dean,
And I'll smile as I slice off your prick.