RobMc

Artificial intelligence?? surely this description fits lots of people? but not Rob, I'm certified stupid, who else would gamble with our crooked dealer? No one could be more stupid could they?

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back Of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Key." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the effects were wonderful -- the woman Remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags my Dear those are your tits." She which she replied , "No point asking about the beard then.!!.....

Well my contract offer on the f.....g dealer hasn't been fulfilled yet ??????????????

Little @baldie was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little @baldie said, "Oh, right." Satisfied with the answer he went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later @baldie came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Rob's mum wants to talk to you."

An American tourist in Dublin decided to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wandered around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness. After awhile, he found himself in a very high class neighbourhood.....big, stately Georgian residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. After all those pints he really, really had to go. Soon he found a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decided to use the wall to solve his problem. As he was unzipping, he was tapped on the shoulder by Police Officer Murphy, who said, "What might you be doing?" "I'm very sorry, officer," replied the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom." "Right," said Officer Murphy, " follow me". He led him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opened. "In there," pointed the officer. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you want." The American entered and found himself in the most beautiful garden he had ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he had the cop's blessing, he unburdened himself and was greatly relieved. As he went back through the gate, he said to the officer, "That was really decent of you...is that what you call "Irish Hospitality?" "No sir," replied Officer Murphy, "that is what we call the English Embassy".

From the UK Patriots to the USA Patriots, our tribute to Charlie

The teacher asked little Rugger if he knew his numbers. “Yes,” Rugger replied. “My dad taught me.” “Good. What number comes after three?” “Four,” answered Rugger. “What comes after six?” “Seven.” “Very good,” said the teacher. “Your father did a good job. What comes after 10?” “Jack, Queen, and King.” Now don't forget that next time in Vegas

Perhaps a bit too far for Rob ???

Just a final add on The police said 110,000 people attended, more propaganda as the aerial photos make it easy to judge crowds coming out of Wembley, our largest stadium as a comparison. There were probably one million, maybe more and nine arrests in the area the police escorted the five thousand counter protesters through the middle of their march, brilliant policing?? THE ONLY THING THE MSM REPORTED were these nine arrests, every MSM outlet reported these ordinary Mums and Dads as 'Far Right' There is a concerted effort to destroy the truth, I'll say no more, use your own judgement and your own eyes watch this and see what I mean,

Oh boy, do you have issues

March is on now, chance to look at the thousands of fascists gathering in London, the bastards are marching in groups wearing their offensive Union flags. Just look at them, Fathers carrying offensive weapons, flags on poles, Mothers walking hand in hand with their children, clutching teddy bears (filled with stuffing not explosives). I've just witnessed one assaulting a policeman, violently shaking his hand and the policeman shaking back. Servicemen wearing their medals, mobility scooters and wheelchairs, obviously part of the stormtroops. True to form there are many masked protesters shouting fascists, I'll wager Basils there, throwing darts at her Butler and Gardeners. Go on Youtube, make your own mind up AND DON'T BELIEVE THE MSM, we have a left wing paper called the Guardian, here's one I've told many times. A little girl is visiting the zoo with her parents, she leans over the lion enclosure and in an instant a lion grabs her collar and drags her into the enclosure, pinning her down and preparing for the kill, everyone is screaming. A biker, visiting the zoo, leaps into the enclosure, punches the lion on the snout and drags the child to safety. A press reporter from the Guardian witnesses it all, sensing a good story he rushes over to the biker who is being thanked by the grateful parents 'That was one of the bravest things I have ever seen', said the reporter, 'what do you do and what's your political leaning' ?? Well I'm proud to be British the biker replies, I vote Conservative, voted for Brexit and am a decorated veteran, having served in Iraq Next days headlines Right wing fascist assaults immigrant and steals his lunch Whoops typical Rob I forgot to mention why I posted this, I believe they are going to do something about Charlie as I noticed a group with some banners, they will almost certainly do 2 minutes silence. God bless you Charlie, more of us loved you, and I'm sure they are in the majority, than the 'snakes' who hated you, R.I.P. young man. If you were Catholic you'd be a saint soon.

You cutting back on men nowadays Queenie??

I got mortal drunk last night, didn't know where I was, woke up this morning with a splitting headache in this filthy bed stinking of piss. Next to me was this enormous fat woman snoring her head off, foul breath, hairy armpits and an unwiped arse. Thank God I said, at least I made it home

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls in the police to tell them what has happened. ‘First body: @Biotech from Belgium, 50, died of heart failure while drinking vintage champagne and eating foie gras. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,’ says the coroner. ‘Second body: @BUDMAN from Florida, 65, won $100,000 on the lottery, spent it all on Bud Light. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.’ The inspector asks, ‘What of the third body?’ ‘Ah,’ says the coroner. ‘This is the most unusual one: @TBB from New Jersey, 80, struck by lightning.’ ‘Why is he smiling then?’ enquires the inspector. ‘He thought he was having his photo taken.’

The EU parliament refused a minutes silence despite doing that for George Floyd, thank GOD for Brexit

And there is the problem with the world, people don't talk or reason, their beliefs are always right, even if the vast majority think they are wrong, ever been thus.

Tomorrow in the UK we have a patriots march through London, this is the second one the first attracted around 150,000 people, ordinary people, ex service people, disabled etc. Branded 'Far Right' by the left wing press they marched peacefully and silently, goaded the entire way by violent left wing thugs carrying Palestine flags and screaming Fascists. Tomorrows march will be the same, probably larger, but you probably won't even see it on the MSM. The left wing are getting desperate and there is word that a similar confrontation has been organised by the left to break up the peaceful march, an act similar to Charlie Kirks. Now you tell me who the 'Fascists' really are?? I've made my mind up R.I.P. Charlie, they silenced you through fear because you were right and they only know violence as a voice of reason Oh yes I forgot to say, the marchers will be unmasked, their faces on display for the world, the majority of the left are masked and hooded, you just watch if you can.

Last night in my usual drunken state before retiring I clicked on a comment by Basil and giving my usual type of reply, COMPLETELY MISSING THAT THE POST WAS ABOUT 9/11. My sincere apologies to all, it was unintentional and I see it has rightfully been removed, Rob hangs his head in shame, forgive me.

The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. They said "Is this your wife sir?" I answered "Yes." They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus." I said "I know, but she's a great cook and she's good with the kids."

Usually both, encouraged by our new Deputy Prime Minister who thinks men can grow a cervix and the successor to Henry the eighth was Henry the seventh, we're in safe hands.

Molly is a cute and inquisitive four-year-old girl. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out the wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so Daddy. Is that when Mommy came to work for us?"

Key was already drunk when he walked into the pub and after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. Key immediately apologised and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no-good drunk!" she screamed. "Funny," Key muttered, "you even sound exactly like Dot?."

In Scotland, a recent survey of women, who had been married for ten years or more had the following results. Eighty percent thought their bum was too fat. Fifteen percent of married women said their bum was too thin. The remining five percent said they didn’t care; they would have married him anyway.

A man went to the doctor 's office to ask for a triple dosage of Viagra. Doctor: I can’t give you a triple dose. Man: Why not? Doctor: Because it's not safe. Man: But I need it really bad. Doctor: Well, why do you need it so badly? Man: My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I've got to have a triple dose. The doctor finally relented. Doctor: All right, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects. On Monday afternoon the man dragged himself into the doctor’s office...his right arm in a sling. Doctor: Good God! What happened to you? Man: No one showed up. For you TBB

Katie, Kathy and Colleen were sitting together in their retirement home, reminiscing about the good old days when they were much younger. Katie recalled going shopping at the green grocers, and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. Kathy nodded in agreement, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper back then, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. Colleen, who is stone deaf, remarked, “I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about.” Bet Dot likes this one?