AyaqGuyaq

You frickin' kill me, man!!! We need a better emoji for laughing-ones-arse off! We just buried my Captain's uncle today; I'm glad I went (in full suit and tie, of course, payin' respects--he was a cool guy (Lorrie), and he was like an uncle to me, too. I've spent the past 5 days stayin' drunk and stayin' stoned. At my cousin's house--you know, the guy that "cracked" me first, but I had the better crack? Wait, that didn't sound right--I had the better crack? Lol. Lorrie served in the Vietnam conflict (notice I didn't say "war?"), so he was buried with full military honors. When they draped his coffin with our U.S. flag and played "Taps," I shed some more tears. I always cry when I hear "Taps," in deference to those that served our country. I'm going back out fishing. My Captain's not done; I told him I'd be his crew until the frickin' ice flows. He's my buddy, and catch fish or not, we always have fun. We laugh even when we don't catch fish. I should be crying instead, however, because catching no salmon means no greenbacks in Ayaq's wallet. Lol. Again. You killing me, Holmes!!! Ayaq

LMFAO, Run D.M.C., aka @RobMc. We just came in from fishing 'cause the Captain's uncle died of a massive stroke. And yes, dear sir, I always remain sober while commercially-fishing: it's dangerous enough without trying to do it while drinking. Naw, @Sonovabich>XI< isn't my arch-enemy; he's just annoying at times and ignorant of world history. And yes, Sweet Rob, I'm sober as a judge whilst my fingers do the talking. Caribou-hunting season is open right now, and the Captain wants to take me up the river in his fishing boat to see me make my 600-yard kill shots (with my Remington .30.06)--the ones I've been bragging about all summer. Lol. My cousin is arriving on this morning's tide. I'm going to pick him up so we can discuss our plans to hunt for gold in his "hot spot." It'll provide fodder for my sequel: "Gold Mining with Sasquatch, Vol. II," by AyaqGuyaq>XI<. Love ya, man--in a "non-gay" kinda way, of course. Ayaq

Happy birthday, @EastCoast50, and I've been on the lookout for your associates "HandJob20" and "Around-the-World100." Many more to you, sir. Ayaq

Happy birthday, Snoop-Dog. Enjoy many-severals of more! Ayaq

Happy birthday, Frigid, any many more to you! Ayaq

Hey, Scripture, Happy birthday, buddy!! Ayaq

Judge ITO, Happy birthday to you, sir, and many more to you. Still wunderin' how you handled the O.J. "Juice" Simpson trial, though. Lol, but kinda not, in a way. JK, bud, Happy Birthday!! Ayaq

"There was Thunder . . . Lightning . . . the way he plucks his eyebrows is frightening . . . you better knock, knock, knock, on his wood . . . bab-ay, . . ." Lol. Happy birthday to Sir Thunder, Duke of Bellows-A-Lot. Ayaq

Happy birthday, Sir T-Rat, second cousin (twice-removed) to Duke C-Rats . . . For the uninitiated, "C-Rations," or "C-Rats," were what Vietnam-era U.S. solidiers dined on, as opposed the the "MREs (Meals Ready-to-Eat)" enjoyed (?) by today's U.S. military personnel. C-Rats immediately succeeded the beef jerky, flour, sugar, and tins of bacon that used to were issued to U.S. military personnel. Hope you have many more, buddy. Ayaq

Hey, G-String, Happy belated day to you, sir. Ayaq

http://www.kdlg.org is the link to follow to read up on the deadly 2018 Bristol Bay (Alaska) salmon season so far. Most of the stories relate to commercial salmon fishing. In three separate Bristol Bay districts this season, one fisherman's body has been recovered, but two are still missing, including one in the Nushagak District (the one I'm fishing in now). Just last week in my district, three fishing souls were lucky to escape with their lives when their fishing vessel lost power and drifted between two processing ships and got crushed. One ship lowered its "man-boom" and saved all three, including the last to escape seconds before their vessel flipped over and sank. Prayers to the families who've lost loved ones. Every port in Bristol Bay has a memorial for those lost at sea. Thank God that I've got steadfast Guardian Angels!! We came back into port yesterday because of a small oil sheen spotted near the sunken tender. I'm glad, too, because we were also advised to keep an eye out for the missing deckhand's body, and I really didn't want to be the one to spot it. Really morbid, but bodies bloat after a few days and usually wash ashore. I enjoy watching "Deadliest Catch" on The Discovery Channel because I can appreciate just how dangerous commercial fishing is in Alaska. Sorry, nothing witty or funny to add. Ayaq

LMAO, @Timmah!! When I first read your thread's title, I thought it said "Video Recipe of Pound Cake from Sasquatch!" @RobMc? Ayaq

Hey, Burt, Happy birthday to you, sir. I thought T-Rat had it backwards at first, but figured he's probably got it right. Ayaq

Happy birthday, Sweet Keres!!! Many more to come, huh? Sorry I missed the original post--just got back in from fishin'. Ayaq

LMAO, Power--that's why my French is so rusty; I haven't been able to practice after getting kicked outta France for slashing @FRENCHI's car tires!!! LMFAO! At least he's smoking a pipe this time, and not his usual bong . . . Ayaq

Man, Sweet @dadda2, you're da best. Sweet @LtLaszlo, aka "Laz," check my spellin', bud. Lol. @Hoth must approve of any "pee-pee" tapes. Ayaq

What da heck, confusion reigns!!! Lord Black types like a woman, as does Sweet @Lovyan. What da? Will the real Sweet Lovyan please stand up, please stand up, please stand up , . . Yes I'm the Sweet Lovyan, please stand up, please stand up . . . Lol. PLEASE STAND UP!!! Ayaq

I'll be back, Sweet @dadda2. Haven't gotten paid from fishing yet. In my best Arnold Schwarchzenegger (how do you spell his name, anyway?) voice, "I'll be ba-aack." Ayaq P.S. - Gonna find some gold, second, after I see my son Casey and daughter Isabella, first. He's 6'2" tall and she's 5'10", and 20 years old and 16, respectively. Both "Straight A Students," they are (in Yoda voice). Proud Dad, I am.

On @TBB's behalf, what @FRENCHI said, times two, multiplied again by 5. Divided by 2. Lol. Ayaq

Milky Way, Happy birthday to you, sir. Many more, please. Ayaq

Hey, bud, Ayaq is cool. Suffering concussion, that's all. From falling in the fish hold, 'member? I told you about my fall down the fishing hold, right, where I hit my head? Doctor told me not to do anything mental-like for two weeks. We were having a party at my cousin's house 5 days ago. Yeah, we were drinking. My cousin Lester, 6'4" tall, 350 lbs., asked me to come around the table and give him a hug. We were playing cribbage, and I was winning. I gave him a hug, we were laughing, and "Bam!," he slugged me in the left jaw. Reflexively, I punched back, slugging him in the left jaw. All 350 pounds of him crumpled to the floor. I just got done fishing, I met him in the E.R. afterwards, and he said "P.C. (for "Paul Christopher"), I have no idea why I punched you!" I'm a fun-loving guy; I replied: "I have no idea, either. The cops asked me ('cause the ambulance had to come get him) if I wanted to press charges, and I told 'em 'no.'" "I just wanna know why he punched me." You ever see 350 pounds of man crumple? It took six of them to carry him out. Reflex, I didn't mean to do it--my "fight or flight" response is invariably "fight." Lester apologized, and thanked me for not pressing charges. I have a slight bruise on my left jaw, and he has a massive bruise on his. Sigh. The joys of alcohol consumption. Ayaq P.S. - Fuck you, still, @Sonovabich

You son-of-a . . . Lol.

@ice, little late to the party, bud, but nice "slappable" post. Ayaq

Sweet @dadda2, I miss you and Sweet @sandradee2, and Sweet @Sally, and Sweet @ChknFngr, and Sweet @SGTScott, and Sweet @SGTSmeg, and Sweet @T-Rat, and Sweet @moron_6, and Sweet Yadda-frickin-yadda. Lol. I'm about to partake on my next journey. Someone tell that fricker, @Sonovabich>XI<, that the Brits and Russians relied on America's industrial might. Frickin' idiot needs a new history lesson. Miss and love you guys and gals, sans Bitch. Ayaq

'Nuff said. Lol. Fuck you, @Sonovabich, for calling me "stupid," and Fuck you for suggesting that the Russians coulda won WWII without the help of the Americans. Fuck you, ungrateful bastard! Ayaq