AyaqGuyaq

LMAO, Toes-ie, we (guys, anyway) should be so lucky. Humna-humna! Ayaq

LMFAO, Lord Black,I thought Lovyan was male!! Happy birthday, Sweet Lovyan, it sounds to me like you've got a keeper-of-a-husband there. Ayaq

Hehehehhehehehehhawhehaeheaheheheheahe!!!! You crazy bastige, you! Love you, man, in a non-gay kinda way. On this beloved Earth (God help us, we treat her dirty), you only live once. In Alaska, you live to extremes. One village--Fort Yukon, Alaska (Google it)--has the world's record for the greatest temperature "swings" in the world. It suffers temperatures of -60 degrees Fahrenheit in the winter to +100 F. in the summer. Fully a 160 degree swing. I made some money this summer (haven't gotten paid yet, Captain is still fishing without me, and can't blame him--who would?), but I don't think I made enough to do what I wanted. Who makes enough money? Money is the root of all evil. That's what people who don't have any money say, any way. Lol. You can't take it with you. I used to make lots of money, but since I've lost everything, I've never felt closer to our God. Any-hoo, we need an emoticon for which expresses you're Laughing Your Frickin' Ass off!! You, kind sir, whose sheep don't say "Baaaaahh," but instead say "Naaahhh!!!" on seeing your approach, are emoticon-worthy. "LMFAO!!!" emoticon-worthy. On this rapidly-warming Earth, we have to make the most of it. Be kind to people, as I'm sure you are, gentle sir. As a side note, I was gone fishin' for 2.5 weeks, and the Angry Birds 2 Leader demoted me from Co-Leader. I 'splained that I had to leave in a hurry (read one of my earlier posts), so couldn't 'splain. I invariably take Top Spot in Clan Battles (ask @Jeroen v.2, who left--I did, too--because the Leader kept ridin' his skinny ass for not playing Challenges), and said I was gonna leave his Clan after the current Battle, 'cause I've never been demoted before, yadda, frickin' yadda. He made everyone on our team Co-Leaders (Team KicksAss, btw, join up!). Any-hoo, back to all that's germane, you crazy bastige, you. Ayaq

If only I had a Sweet Lady of >XI< to hold while I clutch my semi-auto .30-06 at night . . . Ayaq

Hey Run D.M.C., though I've gotten a "doctor's note" excusing me from commercial salmon fishing for two weeks (doesn't help me--in two weeks, ain't nuthin' left but the cryin', 'cause the salmon would be long gone up the river systems. Not like crab fishing, where they wait for you to catch 'em), I'm gonna call my buddy in Manokotak after he's done fishing. Last I talked to him, he's already got over 100,000 pounds of sockeyes, worth about $200k (about 150,000 English pounds--couldn't find the symbol for "Lira." Lol.), but he's told me about a spot where he found a 2-pound (1.5 English pounds) gold nugget. Not gonna tell you what he sold it for. I'm a-gonna convince him to build a platform 20+ feet (6.5+ metres, if you're English or French-Canadian) off the ground so we can escape the clutches of Sasquatch. He's like my brother; he'll fall for my ploy--er, believe my "plan." Not Sasquatch, my buddy from Manokotak, you silly. Ayaq's adventures will continue. Wish I was still fishing; missing out of 14% of $2-per-pound salmon, but doctor said I was lucky to still be typin', much less walkin'. More on this later, you son-of-a-maracka! That's a lovingly, tenderly, aptly-named moniker I've only shared with the likes of Sweet @Chicken Finger. We're gonna build the platform so it's just within Sasquatch's reach, lol. Ayaq P.S. - I musta been a U.S. Marine (tried to join when I was 17 years old, but perforated eardrum got me rejected) in a previous life, 'cause I woulda gone down fightin'!)

What @TBB said, plus 25, divided by 1.5, times a factor of 12, to the 23rd power. Happy day, sir. Ayaq

Happy birthday. Many more, if'n it be not just for us, okay? Hope it's awesome. Ayaq

Hey, my Zombie ROTU 2.2.2 buddy, Happy birthday!!! Ayaq

Happy birthday, buddy! All hail Sir NumNutz, Duke of Aches-A-Lot!! Ices-A-Lot? Ayaq

Run D.M.C., Santa quit coming to your house because when he was sliding down your chimney, you were waiting "up on the rooftop, click-click-click, to pay conjugal visits to the reindeer of Ol' Saint Nick . . ." Lol. @7Toes, you're supposed to drive around the deer, buddy, not hunt them with your car! Glad you're okay. Ayaq

Hey, Soliloquy, sorry I missed the original post . . . Happy belated birthday!! Ayaq

How 'bout re-naming the thread "Who has the Best Cry After Battling?" Ayaq

Lol, @LOCO, nice observation, bud. You ever notice that "Leave Our Children Out" has "LOCO" as its acronym? Just askin'. Ayaq

Hey, it's "noobiedo," not @LadyIngvild-do! LMAO. You sweetie, you. Not you, noobie, her. Ayaq

TSW, buddy, was that from the last stripper show you attended? Loaded as your desktop's background? Lol. Ayaq

Happy birthday, Lady Invalid! JK, you Lovely Lady of >XI<, you. How about "Lady Ingot," as in gold? Ayaq

Happy birthday, Hemp-Zee. Wishing you many more, too. Ayaq

Happy birthday, Expeditiously!! Ayaq

Congrats, @LilAcorn! Someone once asked me if I had video of my two kids' deliveries; I replied "No, but I've got some of their conception!" Lol. Hope everything goes peachingly-smooth for you, Sweetheart. Ayaq

Laughing my frickin' arse off, buddy! Maybe my next book (after I finish the Sasquatch book) will be memoirs of all the times I've come close to dying while commercial salmon fishing . . . This latest occurrence (sadly) isn't the first time I've almost broken my neck. I've almost gotten crushed, almost fell overboard in rough seas--at night--countless times, almost had systemic fish poisoning a few times, almost got some ladies pregnant while on the boat--wait, how'd that sneak in there? Lol. My older brother (the one that passed away, and the one from which I've adopted the moniker "Ayaq Guyaq") was saddled with child support payments for much of his life, so I was always careful. When we were in harbor, the bunks in my Dad's fishing boat saw "lots of action," if you will. But, I always had more than one raincoat on board . . . The bench seat of Dad's 1982 Ford Pick-Up saw lots of action, too. 'Nuther story. I'm just glad I can walk. As I lay at the bottom of the fish hold, lying flat on my back with my legs stretched vertically against the fishing-hold wall, I remember thinking "I think God is telling me to get offa this boat." True story. I gotta see my daughter again. I'd like to fly with her and my son back to Indianapolis, Indiana before he starts his junior year at Indiana University. He's a Hoosier. No, not "Hoser." Lol. Are you using a double-stitch on your table mat? Yeah, you better stock up on canned salmon (though the ones we catch are "flash frozen" and sold as fillets--more money for the company, you know) because it will likely be last year's catch. And canned sockeye ("red") salmon costs about 2.5 times more than pinks ("humpies"). Chinook salmon are called "kings," Cohoe salmon are called "silvers," and Chum salmon are called "dogs." You can guess which of the five salmon species we harvest are the cheapest. Thanks for the well-wishes, buddy. Thank the Good Lord I'm able to type that to you. A still-hurting "lol" to you, kind sir. Ayaq

Sweet @Icequeen, happy day to you, Sweetheart!! Many, many more to you, eh, you Lovely Lady of >XI<. Ayaq

Just got back from commercial salmon fishing in Bristol Bay, Alaska, for two weeks. I would still be out there, but I fell backwards into a fish "hold" and almost broke my neck. Had a spinal x-ray yesterday, as well as a "head-to-ass" Cat-Scan. Thankfully, nothing broken, just a concussion and a sore-ass spinal column, from neck to bottom (literally). The doctor signed a form saying I shouldn't fish for two weeks, and should rest and avoid exertion--even mental exertion. So, coming up with my witty quips and cleverly-cloaked insults is even on the "No-no" list. Did okay, though--made about $3,000 (U.S.) on one good delivery, alone (about 15,000 pounds of sockeye salmon). The tenders are paying nearly $2.00 per pound, brought on by the crash of the Cordova and Chignik salmon returns. We use gillnets (as opposed to seines), so my back and fingers got one heckuva workout. I've lost 20 pounds, and I feel like I can crush steel. I wasn't planning on fishing, but my life-long buddy came to me two weeks ago and said one of his deckhands quit; he was heading out on the out-going tide to another fishing district and needed help, so I threw some clothes and toiletries into a bag, grabbed my boots and raingear, and took off. That's I've been eerily silent, mi amour. Mon Ami? @FRENCHI, how do you say "Good Buddy" in your native tongue (pronounced "tung-guh")? Good to back on solid ground, though, even though I'm missing out on some serious cash. After being on the water for two weeks, my sense of balance is still askew, and the floor seems to be wave-like--inner ear is so used to the rocking. I wished I brought my cell phone, because we travelled in some 10-foot seas that woulda made land lubbers seasick. I'm a-gonna buy a new laptop so I can continue my prose. I'm also a-gonna get my business license so I can start my consulting business. Gotta finish healing and get paid first . . . Good to be back, buddy. Ayaq

Whoever's asking "Is anyone there?" should know it's time to high-tail it outta there when they hear this: "Tch-tch-tch-tch . . . huh-huh-huh-huh . . ." Or yell "Damn it, @TBB, I told you, 'No' means 'No!'" Ayaq

Nice pic, @Trailrtrash, buddy. Which one is Pinhead? Just wunderin'. Ayaq

Working the streets at midnight? The "50" in "EastCoast50" must be a price point for certain "services rendered," I'm guessing. You know, kinda like "AroundTheWorld100," or "HandJob20." Sorry, snickering at my genius now. LMAO. @spinpuppy, try the corner of Elm and 54th street at midnight next time. Look for the blonde-wig-donning, green-mini-dress-bearing, red-stiletto-wearing, hairy-legged "worker" stumbling around the cobble-stoned streets about that time. @TBBcan send you the GPS coordinates, if need be. @bds1961 has some "frequent flyer" coupons that will be surely honored. Watch out for Run D.M.C. with his new infrared video camera hiding in in the bushes smoking his hukkah, though, for you are sure to gain infamy on the world-wide web. Lol. Ayaq