pwrcrzy52 Posted April 26, 2012 Member ID: 103 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 43 Topic Count: 698 Topics Per Day: 0.13 Content Count: 3298 Content Per Day: 0.61 Reputation: 1604 Achievement Points: 25682 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 2 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Wednesday at 10:50 AM Birthday: 07/10/1952 Device: Windows Share Posted April 26, 2012 (edited) HURT FEELINGS REPORT To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974 AUTHORITY: S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 DSC 3013 and a log of other regulations too PRINCIPAL PURPOSE: To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings ROUTINE USES: Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares DISCLOSURE: Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI) B. WHINER'S AGE C. WHINER'S SEX D. DATE OF REPORT E. TYPE OF WHINE USED F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM PART II - INCIDENT REPORT A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses) E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT PART III - INJURY (Circle all that apply) 1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO? LEFT RIGHT BOTH 2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE? YES NO MAYBE 3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS? YES NO MULTIPLE 4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY? YES NO MAYBE PART IV - REASON FOR FILING THIS REPORT (Mark all that apply) I am thin skinned The Dept needs to fix my problems Two beers is not enough I am a wimp My feelings are easily hurt My hands should be in my pockets I have woman / man-like hormones I didn't sign up for this I was not offered a tissue I am s crybaby I was told that I am not a hero Someone requested a tissue I want my mommy The weather is too cold All of the above and more NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared) PART V - AUTHENTICATION A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too) B, SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?) C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!) We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass, If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire. Edited April 26, 2012 by pwrcrzy52 Spartacus and LtLaszlo 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Spartacus Posted April 26, 2012 Member ID: 1387 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 30 Topic Count: 52 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2540 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 2485 Achievement Points: 19552 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 3 Joined: 05/02/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: February 4 Birthday: 06/05/1968 Device: Windows Share Posted April 26, 2012 I LOVE IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
PimpedOutPete Posted April 26, 2012 Member ID: 174 Group: +++ COD2 Head Admin Followers: 129 Topic Count: 387 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 14886 Content Per Day: 2.77 Reputation: 7827 Achievement Points: 91090 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 52 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 04/23/1970 Device: Macintosh Share Posted April 26, 2012 Hahahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Merlin007 Posted April 27, 2012 Member ID: 2068 Group: +++ COD5 Head Admin Followers: 69 Topic Count: 1075 Topics Per Day: 0.22 Content Count: 8443 Content Per Day: 1.73 Reputation: 7305 Achievement Points: 75002 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 64 Joined: 12/25/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 2 hours ago Birthday: 05/23/1973 Device: Android Share Posted April 27, 2012 Too funny pwr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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