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needed a laugh


tsw 8.5

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Cards You Will Never See From Hallmark ©

bluediv.jpg
 
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you've brought religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you.
Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the #&@!! was I thinking?
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin them for me.
If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister.
As you grow older, Mum, I think of all you've given me. Like the need for therapy.
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.
Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.
Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are bigger than mine.
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.
We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits?
I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!! (available only in Arkansas, Kentucky, West Virginia, and Tennessee)

 

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