DEEJAYKEG

If you feel pain at the dentist's surgery, I suggest you find an alternative dentist... As Benrith says, the local anaesthetic should numb the area being worked on. I often find the jab of the needle the most uncomfortable part of treatment.

My son's girlfriend is expecting a baby so we are hoping to become grandparents in April next year. First time for us so this is rather special. I didn't expect to see the next generation arrive before I was 60 but the kids had other ideas!

Q1.. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5.. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7.. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * Wet Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has one hand. Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

My dear late Mum's favourite artist - the first tune was her favourite. Rest in peace, Mum. I love you always. (d. 26 August 2006) http://youtu.be/dYkMrUQmUDw

It's 200 years since our forces invaded and burned the White House so our Diplomatic Corps marked the occasion with a cake and a tweet. It didn't go down well across America... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/11054506/British-Embassy-forced-to-apologise-for-tweet-celebrating-anniversary-of-burning-of-White-House.html

Pleased to read that you and your family are unscathed. We've only had a couple of small ones, <5, here in recent years. Though they caused some alarm and damage around the place, no buildings came down as far as I know. Other towns in the UK feel the earth move occasionally but they are quite rare events here.

Unless he's bringing his mother along, I think it should read Kenman rather than Kenmam?

The Terrorism Act 2006 says otherwise. Here's the breakdown of a poll taken for The Register: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/08/22/one_in_three_brits_are_now_terrorists/ Unless one was involved in the hunt for the perpetrators, there'd be no legitimate reason to view it in any case. Today, there's talk in the press about US FBI agents being sent to "guard" British airports. The idea is preposterous.

We have an elevated interest in this natural occurence as we are expecting relatives to fly in from the Far East in three weeks. How much it affects us depends on the direction any ash is blown, of course. Here's the live stream via YouTube: http://youtu.be/xoISDUAPNgc

and exclaimed

I have sympathy with your viewpoint, SOB. So this thread is not consigned to the inaccessible Politics forum, I shall be careful in my response. Suffice to say that whilst our country is prevented from raising the drawbridge by its membership of the EU, it will be unable to implement proper border controls to screen those entering and leaving it. You know my party affiliation so I'll just direct you to its leader's statement. Yes, strip these scum of their citizenship and toss them back into the sandpit - they made their choice when they picked up arms against civilisation. A word of caution to anyone in the UK seeking for whatever twisted reason to watch video of this horrible murder. The police have warned that anyone who does so would make themselves liable to arrest under anti-terrorist legislation.

If this had come via Reuters, I'd perhaps accept it as fact. Hunting around for some corroboration has been fruitless, however.

You could always learn French, SOB! It isn't that difficult!

http://youtu.be/Ni1BzrqgqSI

Joyeux anniversaire, Sykorsky! Le pompier arrivera chez toi bientôt !

ONLY A MOTHER WOULD KNOW..... One day mother was out, and dad was in charge of their 3 year old little girl. Someone had given her a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of her favourite toys. Daddy was in the living room reading the evening news when she brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, Mum came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch her bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Mom waited, and sure enough, she came down the hall with a cup of tea for her Daddy; and Mum watched him drink it up. Then she said, (as only a mother would) "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?" Cashier:"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?" Obama:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!" Cashier:"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of 9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID." Obama:“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am." Cashier:"I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them." Obama:"I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Michelle for Valentine’s Day" Cashier:"Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.” “Another time, Andre Agassi came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?" Obama: Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.” Cashier:"Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?

It isn't necessarily the "harmless" thing that some present it as. If you insist on using it, at least do yourself the favour of reading some scientific literature. It appears especially dangerous to those who are already mentally fragile! http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/178/2/116.short?rss=1&ssource=mfr

Getting Married Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack suggests they go in. Jack addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds" Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jack: "How about suppositories?" Pharmacist: "Yes" Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works." Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?" Pharmacist: "We do..." Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and walking sticks?" Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes." Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?" Pharmacist: "Yes." Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."