DEEJAYKEG

I still rank the comedy above the stats, personally...

One for the cat-lovers. Some chuckles assured! http://viraldip.com/30-cats-who-have-mastered-the-art-of-sleep-fu/ 30 Cats Who Have Mastered The Art Of Sleep-Fu

.20 TOP ZEN TEACHINGS 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. 2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. 3. No one is listening until you pass wind. 4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. 7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. 11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree. 13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment. 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. 17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse. 20. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

@@djMot "Bumpkiss" appears to be a variation of "bupkiss", meaning "f**k all". http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/bupkis I came here to find out about the new server and I learn a new word! XI is educational! See you in game later!

I never used to bunny-hop then some guy went OTT on the topic and persuaded me by his attitude that I should really incorporate it into my game style to p*** him off even more! It came to me naturally and now I seldom crawl on my belly but bounce around the maps wreaking mayhem! I look forward to bouncing around the OP in due course (no sign of a phone line just yet though... ).

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my I-pad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

Haven't heard of the brand before but sometimes one can get a good deal...

You missed a paragraph... Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends. Oh, that wasn't the declaration? Oops...

Adorable, mate!

http://youtu.be/ZRAr354usf8

Great movie! Superb reprise!

Will the drinkers ever see that penny, SOB, or will it be swallowed up in the brewery/pub profits? Despite all the praise from the likes of CAMRA (on another planet) and the trade, it is so trivial that it'll have no effect whatsoever.

Oh, this is an easy one to politicise...

Everyone gets an "Ayo gorkhali" from me no matter who they are! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gurkha

Welcome!

The reason the COD 5 DM stats are not working appears to be that the program has the wrong IP address for the game server. The error returned quotes the former one.

I don't know what might have prompted this or what your intentions are, Johnny. It is not newsworthy to the educated that Marseille has a very large North African ethnic population. It is easy to understand why when one looks at a map of the Mediterranean and considers France's imperial past. As with the UK, its empire brought citizens from afar to live and work in the "mother country". They settled and had families. As the religion most commonly practised in North Africa is Islam, one doesn't have to have a degree in sociology to recognise that the immigrants of centuries past brought their faith with them. Your post denigrates followers of that faith by alleging that their values/presence turn cities into "garbage". Venture into any major city in the western world and you will encounter rubbish in the streets, graffiti everywhere and grime. It isn't an Islamic trait but an urban one. The source for the alleged "facts" you cite is especially untrustworthy. The Daily Mail (or Daily Fail as many of us call it) is not worthy of being referred to as a newspaper. Factually inaccurate, it spews bile about anything foreign. There's usually some hatred-inspired campaign or editorial in its pages. I have personal experience of this comic. When I was working, I was telephoned about an arrest my unit had made and declined to provide any information, referring the reporter to our press office. "If you don't tell me, I'll make it up", he said, and, yes, he did! I don't know how any paper or, indeed, agency, could obtain detailed information on birth rates among minorities as this data is not even collected for the national census every ten years. The last was in 2011 and showed an Islamic population of 4.8% of the UK total. (You may like to compare that to Toronto's 7.7% or Ontario's 4.6%.) Muslims have lived in the UK since at least the early 18th century and serve in our Armed Forces, Police, government, health service, legal profession, judiciary and Parliament. My dinner, last night, was cooked by one and delivered to my door by another. They have been our neighbours for three centuries. They worship the same Abrahamic God that I do, though there are obvious differences in our respective faiths. Jesus, however, is revered by Muslims as a prophet, though Christians do not attribute any holiness to the prophet of Islam. In recent months and years, Muslims, Anglicans and Catholics have spoken with one voice against changes in the law of this country. Secular forces won that battle. I would ask whom do you fear more - the man with no moral compass or the man with an unwaivering belief in God's laws? So, an appeal for common decency, perhaps on behalf of those of our gaming community who would be offended by this hogwash. We have followers of various faiths including Islam in XI and no one should ever question their worth. Toleration, moderation and friendship are desirable.

A web server belonging to the games company Electronic Arts has been hacked and is now hosting a phishing website, according to an internet security firm. The website that has been put in place by hackers asks users to enter their Apple IDs - the credentials needed to access services like Apple's iTunes. Full report: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-13846031

@@deerejon "This video does not exist", says YouTube. I have a personal connection to The Kinks in various ways. The Davies brothers preceded me through my primary school and ended up at secondary with my brother along with the late Peter Quaife (bass guitarist). Dave delivered an almighty b*ll*cking to me when I directed a crowd of female fans to their front door, one day! Many decades later, when I took a Humanities Course with The Open University, one of the songs studied in the Music segment was "Waterloo Sunset"! I am, of course, also a Muswell Hillbilly!

No, never. I said...never!!! Did you hear? NEVER!!!! Snipers ruin the game and I just love opportunities to stab them/blow them up.