DEEJAYKEG

That would be an intelligent elevator, folks...

Yes, they appear to have broken it again. I cannot play for the moment anyway as I have to schedule in a four-hour DLC download. However, random disconnects and laggy performance have become regular once again.

Looks like possible dogging territory!

Meanwhile, in France, the inhabitants of this village, south of Paris, must be proud of its name...

As has been the case for months now, the game stats for the COD5 DM server remain unavailable as an error results. I have already pointed out that this may be due to the fact that the program is seeking to access the wrong IP address but nothing's been done to rectify it. I'm no stats junkie but it'd be interesting to see how many stickies I have attached to players so far! Missing Database TableError: Table xlr_208_100_0_134_playerstats for model PlayerStat was not found in datasource b3.

For @@DeathWaveUK courtesy of Oast House Archive (Creative Commons Licence): It isn't that far away from here.

Not really surprising, I guess, as they seemed to be drinking....Belgian beer!

Belated happy birthday wishes to QueenCobra!

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Fosters, he didn't like it – so I had it. Then I got him a Carling Black Label, he didn't like it, so I had it. It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider. By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push the wretched pram back home.

(Hmmm... Duplicated thread?) 2_MANY_BEERS

Some amusement for you wuckin fankers!

Fans of Danny Trejo, enjoy!

2_MANY_BEERS ( that laugh should be bottled, as someone once said, and he deserves the honour as he offers it when the joke is at his expense too).

Dedicated to fellow lover of the English language @@JohnnyDos !

Here are Misses and Mister, who used to visit us up to five times per day for food. We reckon Misses laid two clutches of eggs that both failed and Mister has now moulted and gone off to spend the rest of the year with the boy ducks at the lake. Not a bad life being a duck...if you evade the hunter's gun!

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, ''You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?'' The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. ''One day,'' he begins, ''I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.'' ''No shit?'' says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued. ''Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.''' ''Keep going!'' I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, ''You now have three wishes.'' I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, ''I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger.'' She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, ''What will be your second wish?'' ''What next?'' asked the bartender. I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, ''I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.'' She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours! Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, ''You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?'' I looked at her and replied, ''How 'bout a little head?''

Recently covered by "Order of Era" for a men's deodorant commercial, here's the original from 1968!

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.' He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.' So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, 'That was incredible!' He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.' So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath. He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?' 'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the River Mersey...'

It wasn't part of my game style till someone started whining about it. I accepted the invitation and do it all the time now!

American scientists send people into space and develop new micro-processors. British ones study fart gas... http://time.com/2976464/scientists-say-smelling-farts-might-prevent-cancer/

The last of the band to pass away... RIP http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-28275535

Congratulations, Yop! Welcome, Louise!

Only a proper inquiry will establish whether the use of such force was reasonable, lawful and justified. The "Court of Public Opinion" reaches its verdict without possessing the full facts or the ability to determine the veracity of what has been placed in the public domain. Generally it does so within seconds or minutes. Those who are the most verbose seldom have a clue about police work and the dangers officers may potentially face every time they go on patrol. Of 1,251 complaints (of all sorts) against my local force, in 2013, 37 were upheld. "Rogue cops" are not the rule but the rare exception.