DEEJAYKEG

Welcome!

Welcome!

Welcome!

Welcome!

Welcome!

http://youtu.be/Eg27RyD4U3Y

Men, if you have the option to be present during childbirth, forego it! Tell the hospital/midwife which bar you'll be in and leave immediately. I would compare the experience to being locked in a room with a wounded animal. Not good. Indeed not an experience that gives me joyful memories. They took her down to an operating theatre eventually.

It's getting like the BBC round here... F***in' repeats!

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There is always a morning...

Time you got the clap!

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night? The husband looks up from his coffee and says, 'It's the 20th anniversary of the day we met.' She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do,' she replies. The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?' 'Yes, I remember,' says the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him. The husband continues, 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?' 'I remember that, too,' she replies softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today."

Thanks for the further update, Joe. Does he wash in or drink the Dr Pepper?

A marriage of such length is to be both celebrated and applauded as it shows that both partners have honoured their vows to each other through so many years and, doubtless, supported each other through bad times as well as enjoying the good. May your love for each other endure and comfort you in the knowledge that you are a rare couple who have discovered the joy of companionship and the mercy of forgiveness. Be proud of your mutual commitment and enjoy the rest of your lives hand in hand! Congratulations!

You old bastard!

Once again, Joe, thank you so much for being there for our mutual friend. Chaos, the bandages are bound to make it look dramatic and shocking - I just pray that under them it isn't hurting awfully and you are healing well. We are always here for you. Though separated by oceans and thousands of miles, you have a small army of supporters. We need you to be strong and recover well for the stunning comeback party! Keep in touch as best as you are able. If there's a means to provide a name and address for cards and presents to be delivered, Joe, could you convey that via the Members-Only forum, please? I would guess that flowers etc are out due to infection risk but Chaos may appreciate a jigsaw puzzle to pass the time? Really looking for a way to make time more tolerable for him. Best wishes, dear friends.

http://youtu.be/GE88upiaSyg

Fathers' Day is celebrated on the third Sunday of June in the UK (16th, this year). http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/uk/father-day