HarryWeezer

You're in the middle of some kind of project around the house, are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint in your work-around-the-house clothes: You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes. And you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age, you might do the following: In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register. In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy. In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog shit in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms!' In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog shit off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure. In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch. In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. In your 90's: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Why am I reading this? Who farted?

Welcome. Better oil up that rifle or you won't get far here.

JD & coke on those rare occasions when I have a drink.

Welcome

WELCOME!!!!!!

Welcome to XI Taco

So sorry to hear...

Contrast this with the 71-year-old who opened up on two punks trying to rob an Internet care and put two rounds in one of their backsides. Every American should go armed. And as to an earlier comment here, in Colorado, one does not need a permit to buy a handgun nor is required to license or register it. You do have to obtain a concealed carry permit.

And the priest says, "I'm very sorry, but we don't allow Higgs bosons here." Replied the Higgs boson, "I beg your pardon. I am, after all, the God particle, and without me, you cannot have mass." (somebody stop me...)

Can I get the medal for rage quitting sex?

Naw... Chili did it on purpose. Hxtr told me so. And Hxtr, as you know, knows all there is to know.

Outstanding!,,,,,,,,, Congrats Bama

Welcome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome Mech - long time coming and delighted to see you with us...

Welcome aboard the Good Ship Idiot

Would that all of us could make that kind of a difference in the world... but on second thought, we CAN! Next time you see someone who is down and out, lend a helping hand. Thank you Pete!!!!!

I kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome

Your typical American 12-year-old is overweight, under-educated, socially inept and absolutely devoid of ambition and life goals. We are DOOMED!!!

Been at it for 40 years with the goal of identifying our ancestry through nine generations, to include all 256 sixth great-grandparents. Currently have 219 of them: http://ogdensburg.info/genealogy/FinalChart.jpg Likewise, ancestors in every war including on both sides in the American Revolution - even a Civil War draft dodger who skedaddled to Canada while his two brothers in different regiments were each wounded the same week. Lots of fun turning up murderers, thieves, etc. in the family.

Welcome to the admin team losers. Now, let the hazing begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PS: One of you already is a member of the clan Xfire, the other 3 have received invites to join. Do so ASAP or we will ban your sorry asses.

Got to try that.

Good to see ya back in here!!!!

Welcome fellow Tennessean (I'm in Kingsport.) If there's anything I can do to further welcome you (you're bored on a hot, rainy night and need company) just holler!!!

That would be Gorilla Monsoon: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorilla_Monsoon

Hi Quad. I heard the only people in Oregon are steers and .... well, never mind. Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!