Lucille decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.
When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" The clerk told her that $250 is the standard rate and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the manager, who, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," the manager replied. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here."
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she complained. "Well, we have them, and you could have" said the manager. No matter what amenity the manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it" and the manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes, the lady wrote a check and handed it to the manager. "But Madam," he said, "this check is for only $50."
"That's correct," she replied. "I charged you $200 for sleeping with me."
"But I didn't!"
"Well, too bad," she said. "I was here, and you could have."