RobMc

We just need Barron, a fiddle and a log fire for a great night

Irish eh??

Come on Mark look at the bright side, that makes 4 beers that will never be exported

Hoodlum

I normally don't like putting up Youtube vids, (most of us know why) but I'm sure the idiots would love to see this years meet, greet and drill held in the UK. Special guests were @BUDMAN and @TBB who swam over from the States, in the front row on the left. Bonus points for those spotting @monkie @Ghostlupus and @Totty warming up before a great night in the park toilets, well done all of you with a warm toast of Whisky, 'bottoms up'

Lots of ladies say @TBB is strong, unfortunately it's his odour

It means my boy that AI recognises a greater intelligence so shuts down to avoid being humbled. If you're having trouble with your English I'm always available, and cheap, don't rely on apps when Robs here. ps I'm also very modest, ask @TBBor @BUDMAN

I'll wear flip flops like the rest of my country

Mike my boy great ideas about the beer and underwear, both right up my street. However don't be under any delusions about our so called king, most including me detest him. I'm all for some research in Shagaluf spirit willing but flesh weak, you can go in my place. I sent a platoon out to find dummy blow up tanks and they came back with a dozen blow up dolls one can only describe as for recreation. Still all is not lost we've left a couple outside Jenny's door in the hope it saves her, keep your suggestions coming. (whoops no joke intended)

Things are hotting up, I’ve formed a civil defence committee with some of the locals to fend off Vlads hordes. Bit of mixed luck, Jenny in no.23 apparently is looking forward to being raped by some big strong Russian boys, not surprising if you saw her, I still think she’s dreaming, he’d have to be desperate. Mrs Boyle at no.7 has offered to bake some of her infamous ‘rock cakes’ and never has a patisserie been so aptly named. Her husband, Gummy Boyle is supplying the currants from his pet rabbits, good lad Gummy. When they’re pelted with these a surrender is guaranteed. Jack at no.12 is down for the smoke screen, he has stocked up with ‘Old Shag’ for his pipe. Someone suggested making bunkers, not sure about this one but I’ve emailed Donald for suggestions and ordered 10 tons of sand. Apparently some of his golf courses have great ones? We’re getting there, slowly but surely

You're a star Key, you ok my old mate?? What's Ramon noodles?? I fear it's getting serious though, headlines this morning that Bonds are crashing, hope James 007 is ok, and his Aston Martin is in one piece. Being up half the night as normal I googled 'Russia', wow their leader is named Vlad, I never trusted Vlad's since the impaler, looks like our safety is once more at stake. (And if you don't get that you need an education). It's a big country with a huge population, old blighty may have bitten off more than she can chew - again. Never fear, Rob will devise a cunning plan that will once more let us become a great nation. Apparently Vlad wants to reclaim all the countries lost when they had a big empire, so we'll do the same. He's started on a country in Europe, so our counter attack will be to start on a similar vein, though smaller scale. Look out the Pitcairn Islands, we're coming

Update Another bulletin from the gov saying we need to be ready to March, ffs it's only just September?? and Rob lays low in the winter. We've been told to stock up on food and water (true) so I bought an extra pot noodle this week and a bottle of pop, result. Broke out the old GAT air pistols ready in case I need to hunt, corks are looking a bit 'crusty' but a splash of WD 40 should do the trick. When those Commies appear in the street Rob will be ready, don't you worry England, I've got your back. Now where did I put that longbow?

Due to apparent trouble from somewhere called Russia they're thinking of bringing back conscription in the UK. I jumped straight in, I've always wanted to dye for my country, but I've been rejected, apparently 'purple is out'? I offered myself to the SAS, and was told you need to have incredible skills, well those of you who played against me know that? My cv describing my Call of Duty experience was laughed at. Does my dedication and mouse finger not count in the defence of my country? I feel slighted, so I ask you all (Basil excepted) to tell the UK government that Rob is an asset, not an ass which they described me as Can the older members not remember the posters 'Your Country needs you'? I'm gutted I can't fight

No it's your 'Doppelganger'

I saw it using a mirror - tiny but it's there, phew I'm a MAN

Brilliant, went on Amazon and bought one, must have had it the wrong way round couldn't see anything? turned it round and bingo, still couldn't see anything?? hope they take returns?

Disgraceful, all these people enjoying themselves and having a great time, what is the world coming to?? hell it might catch on?? have you thought of that?? Well done

Here's one only the oldies will get 'Who sang pinball wizard'

I can't stand Country and Western, but there are a few artists I admire, and Dolly was one of them R.I.P. to someone who appeared to be a decent down to earth girl, rest easy girl.

This has happened to me on other games and has been solved by patience, not touching anything and sitting there until the computer catches up, worth a try and 5 minutes of your time.

Oh no, don't want to end up like you, you old goat, oh hold on?

Which horse won??

I was always told that the best place to learn a new language was in bed Multilingual Rob

Wish I was, I'd love to

Godverdomme, the boy speaks it better than @BUDMAN, but of course he'll be sober unlike Budman, so he has an excuse