RobMc

Now I'm the first to admit I know nothing about Rap, I don't like it but I also don't like Jazz, what I do know is through these columns, and it is rather disturbing, we're getting one of these a week now in the UK, is this the same elsewhere?? https://news.sky.com/story/drill-rapper-perm-named-as-one-of-two-victims-of-fatal-crash-and-shooting-in-brixton-12735410 Music I thought was about enjoyment?

Why thank you Rosie

OK but even new doesn't mean it is a good battery (or fully charged) you always begin any diagnosis with the basics and never assume anything, I had a bad brand new battery only six months ago, if roughly handled in shipping you can get a cell failure, you can't see it without a meter and some testing. Every petrol combustion engine needs 3 things to work :- Fuel/oxygen Ignition Compression Every mechanic on a non running engine should check the components of these basics, sorry but can't do that without it in front of you. But again, and I can't repeat this often enough check the basics, oil (don't run if none there), water (cooling), fuel (don't believe your gauge they and sender units fail) and visually inspect to see if any pipes off etc. Doing this can save you a fortune and garage bills etc. Did he check the alternator was working with a meter, and that fuel was getting to the engine? I could go on and on for hours, but you definitely need to take this back from this so called garage.

This could be so many things the way you describe just stopping then 'no clicks' you would really need to test things, if possible with a scanner, it could be ECU (not impossible but unlikely), fuses, relays etc etc. But the main culprit you should test first is the battery, because petrol engines (most are in USA) do not run or function without electric, now before you start screaming hold on a minute. Even replacing the alternator will not charge a bad battery, that should be the first check, we have many techs on these forums who I'm sure would agree. If the shop you've put it in haven't done anything in a year then you are being ripped off, pure and simple, get it back now. In the UK we have mobile repair people who come to your door, don't you have this? How old was your battery?, if over 5 years then it is a prime suspect, I did a bit on batteries a month or so ago, and don't want to ramble on again. If it isn't the battery and still electrical it gets a bit more complicated but isn't rocket science, but you do need test equipment and knowledge. To any of you out there, if your garage can't diagnose and fix in a month get it asap to another one who can, so many people are scammed because they don't know a bit of basic things about cars. The first thing with no clicks is the starting circuit, you may have a parasitic drain flattening the battery, bad earths and a whole host of things, someone with skills needs to look at it. Get it back, if it is worth it and get someone you trust to look at it

Firstly, get the van back, they are taking the piss Secondly, why oh why have you waited this long? Third, sue them

Aaaaah? fond memories of former days, just a man and his trusty trenchcoat.

Don't worry Mark, they go hand in gland, be researching hard tonight

Why?, was she stealing your limelight???

What a let down

OMG all gone again 1 1/2 million in 3 throws, sorry buddy I'm a loser

And you on the whip?

Like Mother, like Daughter? Ask her if she has any fetishes other than sprouts

Thanks buddy, what if I lose them (I lost 4 million a couple of months ago) will you still talk to me?

Hell I thought this post was about a wedding?

I'll bet Queenie has a fart phone with her sprout fetish? they seem to be popular, apparently one of my kids has a singing Sam (Samsung) and the other a fruit one (Apple), wonder what flavour? perhaps less subtle in the future?

Good idea, I'll see if any of my family own a fart phone, I've only got a little Nokia, I've heard talk about fart phones being the future. (fart phone - smart phone?)

You saw my rant after @Barron said about the farmers in NZ being taxed on cow farts? now is the time to have an adult discussion about 'wind' and it's impact upon the world we live in. Please do not giggle like children, this is a dilemma we need to solve, even Basil must fart (in a concealed way of course). We are talking about gas, mainly methane, being introduced into the atmosphere, not helped in the least by Queenies sudden longing for sprouts (is she?? you know?), the wise old NZ PM (currently in the Antarctic) researching parrots, at the taxpayers expense, has her finger on the pulse, so she is going to tax her farmers for animal farts. This has far ranging repercussions, animals fart through eating vegetation, does this spell the end of Vegans???, you know those annoying cunts who tell you their lifestyle is perfect?, are they now to face crucifixion? Let us hope so. It is not long now before we see politicians banning eating, use of any fossil fuel, and inhaling air (oxygen tax), you know it makes sense, we need to become green. Meanwhile China builds half the worlds coal fired power stations, while Russia blows up the nuclear ones in Ukraine, Greata's carbon footprint is the world's largest and we believe everything these charlatans preach. However seeing an opportunity Rob has invented a 'fart harness' for cattle and horses, siphoning off the gas which can then be used as a petrol/gas substitute to power your vehicle to your favourite dogging spot. Anyone who is interested can donate one million points into my account in order that I can continue my research, @AthenA you can't afford it girl. No Fog - Think Dog (See you in the woods)

'Who are you?'

Has always been thus Sammy I'm afraid, in the words of the Who (for you oldies) - 'meet the new boss, same as the old boss' We won't get fooled again - oh yes we will

Mine

Yep, similar reaction to Twitter by the EU, now they think it's not on their side they are talking about restrictions, so much for free speech? By the way anyone else heard of this?, I caught a snippet this week, apparently somewhere they are proposing banning the right to criticize any political leader. This is scary Big Brother stuff, surely this can't be right, it didn't say where, but I presumed the EU.

Don't you mean your FIRST date? Queenie is busy at the moment gardening, her first crop is at Christmas, look out for winter gales.

You have problems - That isn't a girl, something you want to tell us?

You don't have a bright outlook do you Sammy, what's wrong with multi billionaires? they make great Presidents and Prime Ministers? ho,ho,ho. Or are you just pissed the pendulum has swung? Look at Kanye West (never heard of him before this week) he's a naughty millionaire isn't he?? Why can't they all just drink and shag themselves to death like they did before?